Avatar Posted by sangy2116 340 days ago (Question)
My daughter's father and I (we have joint custody) are having personal issues and he is explaining our problems to my daughter. Not only is he explaining but of course he is making himself out to be a superhero. He is with her every other weekend. The minute she comes back to me all I hear is negativity come out of her mouth whether it is about herself or towards me. I really dont know how to go about this, what to tell her or how to reverse it in her mind to be something positve. She is only 4 and her father is very ignorant to these things. He says "She is my daughter and I can explain and say whatever I want to her, she's is really smart so she gets it". Although she is very smart for her age how to do i explain to him that feeding her this garbage is only making her confused and scared. How can I effectively say or do things with her to make her feel secure and loved without stooping to his level of bad mouthing?


Answers

Written by Edahn 340 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

In case you missed it, I replied to your other post.

Best,

Edahn

Written by Clyde 333 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would recommend discussing this with him, that you cannot allow for this to happen. Keep detailed records of what she says, what he says, etc.

Explain to your daughter (do not do the same thing he is doing) that while you and her daddy do not get along, adults can have differences of opinion and still love and care for others.

The main thing is to keep being a good, positive mother towards her, and allow her to see the goodness in yourself. Of course, words hurt, but you need to model your actions to be the best to her.

Best,

Clyde


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