I'm almost 13, I have a 10 year old younger brother. My dad treats him way better than me. My dad used to be a playboy when he was young, so of course he wants my brother too. He wants my brother to have sex with different girls everynight, use them, and break their hearts. And with me he's way overprotective, he thinks im way too young and doesnt want me to have sex until I am married and cant have a boyfriend until I'm 18. My brother sort of has a girlfriend right now, and my dad is all proud of him. I'm 2 years older and I cant even talk or text boys, neverless be friends with them outside of school. My dad is so sexist, always makes "funny" sex jokes about women with my brother, and they laugh. He lets my brother know and watch those things and doesnt let me even hear a word about it. All he cares about is my brother becoming a playboy, he doesnt realize how I feel. I know I am too young for a boyfriend now, but it is part of a teens development, i want one about 14 or so, I would never have sex that young, but seriously! He thinks im still a baby, and im not! My brother is way too young to know these things and want to do these things so young and I have told my dad how I feel. But, he said he will stop and my brother isnt allowed, but I know he just said it to make me feel better. I know he still lets my brother hear those, and I hear them. I know he is letting my brother know more about that, and is letting him makeout, date, and do it at 14 or so, maybe even 13. I dont understand this, why men think girls cant date young, but guys can DO IT young!?! My dad wont even let me have guy friends but he thinks "Girls cant have friends like that guys can". even all my friends agree that he is way over protective. I am not a baby anymore and I dont know how to get him to understand, he thinks he is like a normal father and has done nothing wrong. I am tired of this and I want it to end. What do i do? I have tried everything!


Answers


chros
1462 days ago
start acting different around him. if he tries to "butter you up" then answer in a negative and let whats really bothering you show through body language so that you can make it obvious that theres something wrong and he obviously isn't helping so it might obligate him to change the way he acts around you but also let you have a little bit of independance in your life. i have an over protective father only im a guy and i did so many things without my parents knowing about it. once i started to act at things differently and started acting in a more negative tone to show i didnt like a certain thing they did or just simply stated it. so once you start to act like that and they ask why, then tell them about it and if they try the "buttering up technique" again, tell them "im not five anymore im 2 years older than my brother and you're saying i'm too young to do what hes already doing? that doesn't make any sense." use logic to your advantage in your arguments, and they act completely irrational about it, tell them that too... don't be afraid of them thats what they want you to be. i think that its so messed up that they treat your brother better than you.. thats not right..... at this rate, you shouldn't care if they send you to your room.. you could even run out of the house if it gets too out of hand with screaming profanities and just sleep at your friend's house for the night regardless your father likes it or not. of course, don't tell him where you're going just keep running into the dark until you reached where you wanted to go to get away from all the stress but you have to tell your friends in advance before you plan this and just incase he calls the police, just leave your cell phone at home, and if you choose to talk about running to a friends house for refuge, DON'T DO IT ON THE PHONE/CELL PHONE. the government or the police could be tracking your phone calls/ texts so be sure to do all your talking in person while at school. what i did is get a bunch of quarters and used a pay phone inorder to contact friends to meet up at a certain point that is no where close to a residential area and just walked from there to his house while talking about the argument and the amount of yelling, profanities, and threats that were used. they thought i was on drugs, and just because i didn't like nobama they got all up in a fit, all because i'm republican.... i am politically rejected by my family, i am currently seeing a counselor now, but i got my life on track and some mental stability instead of resulting to self-inflicted wounds and mental anguish so yea. my friends are like brothers to me and allowed me to crash at their place if times were hard. maybe your friends could be like family to you too, and take you into their homes with open arms. anyways, i got a little off- topic, well, best of luck to you, i hope this post helped --chros



mommysexchange
1461 days ago
are you serious? this is a very bad suggestion.



bella
1462 days ago
Hi - I want to ask you a few questions - has your brother had sex yet -does your father let him watch porn - how does your mother feel about the way your father teaching your brother?? I think it's completely appalling the way your father's teaching your brother. A good father would teach his son about sex in an educational way only and teach him to be responsible, respectful to women.

TBH I don't think either one of you is ready for dating. If you date at 14, it's natural to feel an attraction and it could easily lead to sex. I think it's sad with your fathers thinking - your brother can only be a kid for 10 yrs and now he's being groomed to be a player. He's setting him up for disaster - pregnancy, STD's and possibly death from AIDS.

If your father's letting him watch porn - I think social services needs to be notified. He treats you more strictly because he knows what the majority of young men are looking for -sex. Unfortunately some parents are more lax with their sons compared to their daughters. There's no rush for you - relationships are very complicated and there will be a lot of pressure to have sex. Then there's the break ups, which can take a toll on your self esteem. Your father is being a terrible parent to your brother.



Chemar
1462 days ago
Hi

If your father is encouraging sexual activity in a 10 year old that is flat out wrong and I agree, someone responsible needs to be told about this! Is your mother aware of it?

I don't think you should do some of the things Chros has suggested though as I only see that causing problems, not solutions.



MountainLion
1461 days ago
The Question and the first answer are very "wordy". Pay attention to Process. Often in human communication, "Process" should be given attention and words given the back seat. What's realy going on here?



mommysexchange
1461 days ago
it is my understanding that you are HIS little girl.. he had fun disrespecting woamn and sickly wants his son to as well but he is sooo i'll be dang if some one will treat my lil girl this way.. but since he doesn't know how to respect woman... he doesn't know how to bond with you.. ( i had the same thing!!!)