Avatar Posted by xesnobia 30 days ago (Question)
I am a teen of 13 years old. Since forever, I noticed that my parents, especially my mom, prefers my brother to me. Before my dad used to give me all i asked. Now when i ask something my mum says its stupid and useless. But whenever my brother asks for something he gets it. He is 18. My brother provokes me everyday. He is unbearable. i can't even do anything as he can even slap me and my parents wont tell him anything. I don't have the right to have piercings, tattoos. My parents are not open minded. I hate staying at home. I don't talk too much with members of the family but my friends are great even though they can't go out with me. My dad forces me to do prayers all the time. I hate it! He is a very pious person. But i found porn on his laptop. I didn't tell anyone. I can't even tell him. He can beat me. My mum and hin fight almost everyday. mu mym told me that she told my dad to go but my dad didn't! And i also have to do things for dad like bringing his food..etc. I don't smoke and don't drink. I don't study too much too. my grades are satisfactory for me. But my mum always wants more. Am bored with them all and i self harm. i cut my hand with a blade. i always think that suicide is a solution. I also think of leaving home. My dad is nice. but his anger is unpredictable. Am a bit scared of him. I am planning to pierce my tongue and lips in secret. I will obviously hide it. But am afraid of the consequences if he comes to know about it. I get angry very quickly too. I cry almost every day. I hate my brother! What can I do to improve life?


Answers

Written by Chemar 30 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

it sounds like you need to try to have a private talk with your parents about your feelings.

where I feel sympathy for you in some things, I also am rather alarmed at others. I dont think that at 13 you should be getting tattoos or piercings, nor that you should judge your parent's love for you by whether you get things from them. Defying your dad by getting piercings is not a very wise thing to do!

Perhaps the arguments between your parents and your mom telling you she doesnt want your dad there is also upsetting you, just like finding the porn on your dad's computer. Those are things that would upset any child and it is very understandable that you are feeling emotional turmoil. It is also not right that your parents allow your brother to slap you.

You mention that your dad is religious? Does your family attend a church? Is there a pastor or youth minister you can talk to? or some other trusted adult? Can you talk to your school counselor?

Please know that suicide isnt the answer to your problems...you are young and it is a time when sometimes one can feel very frustrated and helpless. I really hope you will talk to a trustworthy adult about these things

Written by bellacutie 30 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Very good advice from Chemar. You're too young to get tatoos or piercings except normal ear piercing. Personally I dislike the look of any kind of piercing besides in the ear. If tatoos aren't done safely you can get hepatitis or aids. If tongue piercings aren't done professionally you can end up hitting a vein(bleeding profusely) or getting such an infection that your tongue will swell up. You also need to think - do I want to be a grandmother with a lip or tongue piercing??? Think about the future. Try to stay focused on school. Chemar covered everything else. Suicide is never the answer!! Best of luck, Bella.

Written by Clyde 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I definitely think you should talk to your parents as well. You are definitely too young to have piercings, but of course, that is up to each persons parents.

Suicide is most definitely not the answer. Call 1-800-SUICIDE if you feel so, or at least talk to your school counselor about what is going on. Do not give up on yourself.

I know you dont like the idea about your dad and porn, but we are all human. It doesnt make it right, but remember, your Dad and Mom are as human as you and I are. When they do get too bitchy or stupid, just remember they are probably doing some of the best they can.

However; if they are allowing your brother to hit you, that is not a good thing and you should definitely let your school counselor know.

Best,

Clyde

Written by xesnobia 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

i have no one that can do smething for me. and even if am 25, my parents told me that i can never have tattoos nor piercings!

Written by bellacutie 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree your brother should never hit you and your parents should tell him not to. If this doesn't get under control, then talk to your school counsellor or principal. Regarding tatoos and piercings - you're too young to have any piercing except normal ear piercing. When you're 25 you will be able to do those things if you really want to - you would be an adult. You know it's normal to want something more, when we know someones forbidding it. Remember tatoos and piercings last forever, so think about the future if you ever decide to do it. There is laser treatment for removal of tatoos but it costs alot of money and it leaves a mark. Have you ever bit your tongue - so painful - the thought of piercing my tongue gives me the shivers!! The best thing you could do is do well in school and enjoy what's left of your kid life.

Written by pernille 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You write very eloquently for a 13 year old. You should realize that being able to express yourself so well is a great advantage. Do yourself a huge favor and study and do well in school, not for your parents' sake, but for your own. Prove to yourself that you as smart as you obviously are.

Your brother has no right to hit you. And your parents have problems you can do nothing about. You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself, and you certainly have the smarts and the ability to rise above the problems by being strong, and by taking good care of yourself. Hurting yourself is not an answer to anything, it's one more problem, and you have enough problems already.

Fads come and go and soon tattoos and piercings will be completely out of date, and unlike an out of date dress, you can't get rid of them.

When you are young you have such a long life ahead of you that it almost seems endless, and you cannot really know how final death is. There is no return, you will not be there to see their regret, you will not be there at all.

You want to live and make a better life for yourself in future. It is your future.

Written by Fpsy 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I see there is a lot of conflict going on in your household and this is having an effect on you. I see that your mother has tried to get your father to leave the house, but he wont.

I think there is lot more going on for you that just not being able to get tatoo’s and getting things you want. All of this conflict is having an effect on you, it’s making you scare, and anxious and angry.

It is illegal for your father to beat you. You have a right to report him if he does that. Your brother is also not allowed legally to physical hurt you.

You have non one who you can talk to about your feelings and thoughts and you have no power in the family.

Talking to a school counsellor I think would really help you. It is confidential, so what you say in the room with the counsellor is not repeated to anyone. Unless the counsellor thinks that you might seriously kill yourself or someone else. If you are unsure of what to say or how to say it, you can print out what you wrote here and give it to the counsellor.

Here is a couple of website set up for teenagers just like you. They are Australian websites but they have a lot of cool information about stuff you have described here.

http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/wanting-to-end-your-life

http://www.kidshelp.com.au/grownups/getting-help/who-else-can-help/helpful-links/help-lines.php

Have a look around these sites and read about other kids in situation like yours , and what you can do.

I hope this helps

Written by xesnobia 25 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

thanks every1

Written by lmclorrie 19 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

First of all never think suicide is the answer! If you think about doing this please get help right away by calling the hotline or talking to someone. You are young and you will get frustrated and aggravated and a lot of people hate there older brothers or sister. Please get help or talk to an adult you trust. Hope this helps!

~Lorrie~


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