My problem is not only difficult to put on paper, it's unbelievable. After being widowed 12 years ago, I met and married a very nice man. He was divorced (for 5 years) with two adult step-daughters. Their mother and I seem to get along. At any rate, we've never had an argument or anything even close to one. Both their mother and father verbalized many times to me and in front of the girls that their relationship was over, period. I've never attempted to "replace" their mother, but I did think that as adults the girls and I could behave like sane adults and at least tolerate each other, if for no other reason, because we of the love and respect we have for their father. This is never going to happen. It's not the way I would really prefer it, but it's the way it has to be to keep my sanity.
At least one of the girls would call me day and night and spout forth the ugliest and most profane things you could ever imagine, to the point where I had to get an unlisted phone number. Hanging up, would simply entail another call. Letting the phone lay in a pillow would tie up the line and I was on call for my job. I did report this to the phone company, but nothing ever came of it. In the beginning, for holidays and birthdays, the girls were invited and gifts were purchased. We scheduled "our holiday" around the other side of the family so as to not have any conflicts. Most of the time, the girls would not show up -- They would accept the invitation and say they were coming and just not show. Most of the time they do not even bother to call their father and wish him Happy Birthday, let alone coming over for cake and ice cream. I know this is disappointing and makes their father sad. Both of the girls think they can say or do anything they want to. Neither of the girls think they have to "earn" anything; and that they should always get whatever it is they want; and if for some reason they don't get exactly what they want exactly when they want it, there will be hell to pay. There just is not enough time or space here to list everything that has happened. I've had my house egged, broken into, items stolen, water and/or urine poured into our vehicle gas tanks and lawn mower gas tanks. I've lost my job because of things they've done and said. My son is in prison because of them. They set him up, and he was trying to be nice and helpful. He loaned a friend of theirs his vehicle because the girls and their significant others got them together. Calls were made. They guy borrowing my son's vehicle was stopped and arrested. Since the vehicle was in my son's name, he was charged with Conspiracy to sell and manufacture drugs and Conspiracy to launder money. The punishment for this is 25 to life in the federal courts. He ended up pleading guilty because since the vehicle was in his name, there was no way he could beat it, and got 7 years in prison. He will not be able to come out and go back to what he did. He will have to start over. Since I have no job and can not go back into what I was doing, because of what they've done, and my son is in jail, I really have nowhere to go. I'm pretty much stuck where I am. The one girl pretty much stays away, although she has her friends spying on us so she knows what's going on. The other girl still comes around and terrorizes us by walking up and down in front of the house and yelling and screaming obscenities and such, breaking into the house and stealing stuff, etc. And yes, I/we have called the police. Yes, I/we have tried to have her/them committed. Yes, I/we have attempted getting restraining orders. Yes, I/we have spoken to attorneys and prosecutors and magistrates. Nothing is done. I never feel safe, let alone secure. I no longer know who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. I really would like some semblance of life, but either I don't have enough sense to know where to obtain same. I am very very tired and very very depressed. I'm open for advice.
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.