Avatar Posted by pennijo 35 days ago (Question)
My daughter is 15 years old. Her real dad, my ex husband, has been a deadbeat dad for over 3 years now. During our 15 year marriage, he lied all the time, couldn't keep a job, moved us all the time, etc. I now know he has antisocial personality disorder. My new husband of 6 years is a wonderful, honest and integral and my children have grown very close to him. They call him dad. My daughter seems to have a problem commiting to any relationship with boys. She will like a guy, and revels in the "chase"; and experience great anxiety that he won't like her. Then when he does, she backs off and is terrified. We discussed it today and through tears she said that she thinks it's because of her real dad. She admitted that she loves the "chase" and getting a boy to like her. Then freaks out after a date or two. She went to her first homecoming last night with and incredible, awesome guy. She's been sick for weeks, worrying he won't like her. Well last night he expressed he did and held her hand. She came home last night absolutely elated. Now today, she wants to run for the hills. She asked me to help her. She cried and cried and realizes if she doesn't deal with this issue now, it could follow her around her whole life. But we don't know how. Help!


Answers

Written by bellacutie 35 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I guess I must be old fashioned because I think 15 is too young to date. I agree she's probably having trust issues because of her dad - maybe she's not ready to date. I don't believe in serious relationships for young people because they're not mature enough to handle the complications. Perhaps she should just focus on forming good friendships. Do you think she might have social anxiety?

Written by conjohnlevay 34 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Wait a minute! Why on earth would you want your 15 year old daughter to commit to a relationship???? SHE'S 15!!!! She's still a child. She shouldn't be expected to commit to a relationship at her age. That certainly doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her. Wake up. Let the child be a child. Don't make her think there's something wrong with her because she doesn't want a serious relationship. SHE'S 15!!!! Need I say it again????

Written by Clyde 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree that you shouldnt have her commit to a relationship at 15, but I also see your point.

Could you get her into some kind of counseling? She may just have the same thing as her biological dad does, and is having problems dealing with it. Of course, too, she is 15, and hormones are rampant.

Best,

Clyde


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