My daughter is 14yrs old. She is good friends with my best friends daughter(who we will call Kat)also 14yrs old. Kat has ADHD and is very sensitive. Lately Kat has been acting very bad. She had to go to summer school because she didnt do her school work. She is going places w/o letting anyone know where she is. Kat has even been caught flashing a young MAN her breast on a web cam. She has had boys in the house while her parents are gone. I tell you all this because I do not approve of her new behavior. I dont want my daughter around this out of control teen. How do I tell Kat and my best friend? I dont want to lose my friends friendship and wish that Kat would behave better. I also dont want to hurt Kat because she is very sensitive. What do I do in a case like this. I know that my child is more important than any friendship but I dont have but a hand full of friends.
A place to come to ask and answer questions from others on mental health and relationship issues.
Copyright © 1992-2008 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Answers
Hmmm...that is indeed a toughie. You could explain to your best friend that you dont want them to be alone together, but you would welcome Kat at your house, or your daughter at their house, if there is supervision (and of course, supervision you can trust).
It seems to me that Kat is having some issues, and removing her friends may not help her, it may hinder her more, and may make it worse on you, your daughter, and your best friend, as well as Kat.
You may want to just make sure that they are supervised when they are together, because children are such that if they want to be together, they will be, regardless of what you tell them.
Best,
Clyde
Communication with your best friend is the first option I see. A good discussion might help her to help her daughter, might take some of the strain off your friend for bearing it alone, but also might sour the friendship.
Sometimes we have to give up some of our own stuff for our children. I think you need to consider your daughter and her views on this friendship too. Is it beneficial to her, or is it straining her also?
Can you change the nature of your own friendship so that you and she aren't causing a time when the two girls would have to be together?
Do your best, that's all anyone can do.
drjean