My 10yr old is out of control. She screams and crys over the smallest of things. She hits people and throws things. She will have moods of being hostel, sad, very clingy to me or other family adults, and will not sleep some nights. She is well behaved in school and makes good grades. She also has many friends. She tends to only be this way when at home or family members homes. She sometimes shows this behavoir at Girl Scouts. Know one can take her to public places. She runs off, hides in clothes racks, screams at us,cries(like she is hurt badly) and hits anyone around. She has run away from home but was found 2 hours later. I have bipolar and so does my oldest child (14yrs old). I know the signs of bipolar and she does not seem to have them. I have been told by my child doctor that she is just a fussy or spoiled child. Can someone help me? I have called my local mental heath clinic...They are not taking any new patients that do not show signs of endangerment to themselves or others. Thou she has drawn blood on me and her brother, killed a pet hamster,run away at 10yrs old and stabbed her sister with a pencil.They have told me that she does not meet these guildlines because she has not tried to kill herself or anyone else. She is on a state insurance and my choices are limited. Can anyone tell me what is wrong with my child? The school will not help because they have no problems with her while in school. How do i get help? I am scared of her running away and getting hurt, her hurting herself or someone else badly.
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Answers
Hi there,
It could definitely be a myriad of things. She could be spoiled some yes, but it also sounds more than that. I dont see how they don't see signs of endangerment to others, did you mention the stabbing stuff, and killing of the hamster?
Killing animals is usually a HUGE RED FLAG, and they will take someone right away because of that.
I would call around if they dont accept her and find out someone who might be able to do so.
Best,
Clyde
It's curious that she controls herself when she is in school and expected to behave. Can you check out with the teachers what type of system them have in place that she complies?
It could be that her acting out so severely at home is because she does withhold her emotions and feelings during school and bottles them up. By the time she's home (and I'll bet Girl Scout gatherings after school) she just can't contain them anymore.
What does she say when you talk about her behavior? I do mean talk and not confront her...something over milk and cookies and along with talk about things she likes to do and wants to do etc.
I would ask her if she wants help with how she's feeling. Is there a school counselor she can meet with? If not, maybe a special teacher, and her Girl Scout Adult Volunteer could give a little extra attention and understanding?
Buy her creative books, if she likes them, that help her build her self respect and help her find best behavior. (Keeping her in Girl Scouts will help here too!) Talk with her about finding better ways to express her sadness and anger. Address the problems, don't find fault with her. Give her goals to shoot for, maybe use a calendar, and give rewards for meeting those goals. Life is a learning process, and she's in the thick of it.
best wishes
drjean
try www.celebratecalm.com