I keep getting angry with my best friend because i am jealous of him going out with other people and leaving me out. this is getting me angry and i think its making him not like me. Is there any way to prevent this or sooth the anger.
written by drjean 174 days ago
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I know this feels frustrating and out of your control. That probably adds to your anger.
Why not try to find things you enjoy doing by yourself or with others besides him? You need your own life too, you know? He obviously has other friends that he likes to spend time with, and one can't fault him for that.
Are you looking at this relationship as more than it really is? You say he's your best friend, but does he consider you to be his best friend too? You might not be on the same page. But even so, being best friends doesn't mean you do things together to the exclusion of spending time with others.
Becoming a whole person on your own without "needing" someone else is a good goal. Work on developing your own interests, and not being so dependent on another, and that other person might find you even more interesting and want to spend more time with you just because of this!
Good wishes.
drjean
written by Clyde 174 days ago
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Is there any way you can ask him to take you with him sometimes because you would like to be with him?
Could you do things for just the two of you, like watch a movie together, play sports together, go shopping together--i.e. make a time-alone for the two of you?
You really do need to talk to him to help your anger soothe itself. Explain to him that you feel excluded sometimes and would like to spend more time with him if possible.
Tell him how it makes you feel--don't go too drastic into it--because if you say things like "It makes me so angry," or "It makes me so jealous," you may make it look worse than it is, and he may shy away more.
Answers
I know this feels frustrating and out of your control. That probably adds to your anger.
Why not try to find things you enjoy doing by yourself or with others besides him? You need your own life too, you know? He obviously has other friends that he likes to spend time with, and one can't fault him for that.
Are you looking at this relationship as more than it really is? You say he's your best friend, but does he consider you to be his best friend too? You might not be on the same page. But even so, being best friends doesn't mean you do things together to the exclusion of spending time with others.
Becoming a whole person on your own without "needing" someone else is a good goal. Work on developing your own interests, and not being so dependent on another, and that other person might find you even more interesting and want to spend more time with you just because of this!
Good wishes.
drjean
Is there any way you can ask him to take you with him sometimes because you would like to be with him?
Could you do things for just the two of you, like watch a movie together, play sports together, go shopping together--i.e. make a time-alone for the two of you?
You really do need to talk to him to help your anger soothe itself. Explain to him that you feel excluded sometimes and would like to spend more time with him if possible.
Tell him how it makes you feel--don't go too drastic into it--because if you say things like "It makes me so angry," or "It makes me so jealous," you may make it look worse than it is, and he may shy away more.
Best,
Clyde