Through high school, I was always the one to take all of the shit. I was told I was ugly and fat as well as getting made fun of due to my crippled mother which was the worst of all. I am 19 years old and I have delt with depression since I was 7. The only thing that high school did, was to make matters worse. Now, here I am a 19 year old mess with no one to turn to. No one knows how depressed I am because I have never opened up to anyone about it until now. When around family and friends, I have always tried to put on that fake smile in order to hide the reality of dieing inside and its worked. I feel that I'm worthless. I hate myself and I can't remember the last time that I was ever happy. I'm at a loss. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
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Answers
((((Crossfire)))) I'm glad you found us here! Now you do have someone to share those miserable feelings with, and hopefully gain some insight and encouragement too.
It's tough to change an outlook about oneself when all they ever heard or felt were insults. It will take time to turn all that around in your mind, but you can do it!
Depression is a MEDICAL ILLNESS. Can you see your MD and get help? It would be really good if you can find a therapist to help you through these extra tough times.
Please try not to hate yourself, you've done nothing to feel that way about yourself. Depression will tell you lies, don't believe them. You have worth.
Let us know if you find local help, ok?
drjean
For sure, Crossfire...we are glad to have you here.
Depression is indeed an issue you need to get help with. Do you have a T or MD that can help you?
Click on the "Community" button on the top right and go into our Depression forum, that may help you as well.
Do not believe if anyone else says you are bad--because you are not!
You are a person trying to get themselves better, and that is a good thing!
Keep us updated,
Clyde
i have been through similair situation all threw out my school life i beeen picked on bullied beat evrything possible it continued in to highschool and aint getting better sometimes it seems like givin up on the world would make it all go away there is no simple answer to this problem we all face it some time just remember this world is what you make of it