Avatar Posted by WolfHeart 1998 days ago (Question)
My best friend was really depressed when I first met her and she tried to push me away. But after a year of so, I got through to her. Now I know that her home life if bad because her mom is practically bipolar and favors the middle girl and the youngest has a disability so that leaves my friend who is the baby sitter and is constantly yelled at. She cuts herself and has incredibly low self esteem. She listens to My Chemical Romance and loves every part that talks about death. She has decided that the meaning of life is death and refuses to live past 30. I'm scared she's going to commit suicide and she's stubborn so I can't get through to her. Help me!


Answers


WolfHeart
1998 days ago
:( someone?
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andersonc
1997 days ago
What a bad situation to be in, I'm very sorry for your friend. You're a good friend for being so concerned about her.

The best thing you can do is to tell a teacher, or a guidance counsellor or someone (an authority figure) who might be able to help more than you can. You can help by trying to get her out and about, and trying to have some fun and listening to her if she decides to talk. But it has to be her choice (in the end) to seek help for herself.

I hope things work out for you.
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CLS49
1996 days ago
You are indeed a good friend. One thing you can do for your friend is to not let her problems become your problems. Be present with her in her sorrow and listen to her troubles, but don't let her sorrow become yours. It would do neither of you good.

Perhaps see if she could get out for a little while, either to your house or another friends house, just to give her a break from her environment.

By all means tell a responsible adult. Be sure you talk to her about needing to tell a responsible adult before you actually do it. This way she still feels there is someone she can trust and by keeping her trust level up also lets her know that someone cares. If she refuses to talk to a counselor or therapist, then she needs to know that you will tell someone, not because you are trying to be mean, but it is because you care about her well being and your friendship. Friends look out for one another and let her know you care about her and what happens to her. Tell her often that things will get better if she talks to someone. No man is an island.

CLS49
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drjean
1992 days ago
You do sound like a good friend, to me. One of the things about those feelings she's experiencing is they leave out any hope for the future. You are right in thinking that her not wishing to live beyond 30 is an issue!

No one knows the future, but you can encourage her in that she won't always live at home. Things won't always be out of her control, and once she finishes school, gets a job, and finds her own place to live, SHE will be able to make decisions that make her happy. That includes not having to live at home with a negative environment.

With her mom suffering from bipolar disorder, that can surely cause sadness and anger in the home. She might also have a tendency to experience the same responses as her mom.

Encourage your friend to see her medical doctor and to share how she is feeling. It might be a medical issue and not a "mental health" issue at all and could be altered with medication. (Depression is a medical illness.)

Help her realize that she always has the option of bailing out of life, but not now because she truly needs to try everything and educate herself in means available to her to feel better. She might not feel she's worth all that effort, but with a friend like you, she can get there. TC!
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Clyde
1990 days ago
Yes, you are indeed a great friend...one who cares and worries about others.

Your friend does need some help, perhaps the best way of going about this would be to ask her to speak to someone (maybe with you at first until she feels more comfortable?) or a MD/GP or a professional.

Ask if she would like to join a site like PsychCentral or another site in which she can discuss her feelings and thoughts of her life...hopefully that would help as well.

Wishing you and her the best. She is so lucky to have a great friend like you!
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Bliss
1987 days ago
(1) If I were you, I'd give her a big hug. (2) I'd tell a clergy member, counselor, school counselor, or social worker. Don't know who to tell? You could call a church and ask to speak to the minister and ask for his/her opinion. You could also call a hospital and ask to speak to a counselor or social worker about the situation. You could also talk to a school counselor, if you are in school. It doesn't really matter who you tell as long it's an adult professional. If you are scared of verbally asking for help, write it down and send the letter to someone mentioned above.
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acrawford20
1614 days ago
Make sure you tell an adult! Tell anybody responsible enough to handle the situation. like maybe a teacher or school counselour? Or maybe tell your parents. Im sure they can help bc my cousin became depressed and started to cut herself. luckily I told my mother and she told my aunt. My cusin went to a special doctor and was cured. After all that she thanked me.
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cannotdream
1261 days ago
I know everyone is telling you to tell an adult, but that may scare her worse if everyone is on suicide watch for her and taking too much pity, by all means talk to a responsible adult, but make sure that who you tell is trustworthy and won't spread around the news of your friend. Be there for her as much as possible. Take some time to let her know that she is loved. If you can, get her out of the house and take her somewhere where you both can appreciate how beautiful this world is. Just love her as much as you can, cry with her if she's crying and tell her just how valuable she is to her family and to you.
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Alysy
1024 days ago
this happened to me. the first thing i did was tell her to tell our school matron. when she didn't do that i told her to tell her parents so that they could get her medical help. and then when she didn't do that i told a nurse that came to talk to us in PSHE (i stayed behind after the lesson) after that it was much easier. they told the right people and got her help and also eased her into telling her parents about it.

one thing i would say is get help for yourself too. it happened just about three years ago for me now and looking back i wish i had got some therapy or something aswell. it doesn't just affect the person who it is happening to.

keep on trying, i know how hard it is.

good luck

x
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DamagedAtBest
892 days ago
When I first read this, I thought my best friend made an account here under WolfHeart. xD the only differences is that my mother isn't bipolar, I only have 1 younger sibling, and I don't listen to My Chemical Romance. I think your friend seems a lot like me, so I'd try this approach: don't talk to someone of authority. If she's like me, she'll get scared, clam up, resent you, and will not open up to either you or whoever you tell. Just be there for her. My best friend stopped me from commiting suicide by just being supportive. Listen to her, don't say stuff like "God loves you", or something, because (again, assuming she's like me) she may find that comment rather ridiculously stupid. Let her know someone loves her, and if it seems like something's bothering her, gently ease into asking what's wrong. If you come out of the blue with what's wrong, she may either spill the contents of her soul out to you, or she'll close herself off and refuse to tell you. Start with something like "hey, what's up" and gradually ease into "is something on your mind?" Or something like that. If you need to tell an adult about it, choose an adult she feels comfortable being around, like her favorite teacher, or her favorite grandparent, etc, etc. Don't shove ideas to her, like saying "you should get medication". It might make her resentful, and it has a reverse psychology effect. Suggestions, yes. Pushing your opinion down her throat, no. Hope this helps. Also, a song recommendation: Broken by Lifehouse. She might like it.
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SlotMonster
795 days ago
make him read kmplease.com - and he will definitely forget about it when see which problems people might have.
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22000WaysToHIM
389 days ago
Just pray for your friend!
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saslions
365 days ago
Try telling her that u care 4 her and make her feel wanted.If nawt then ask her to e-mail me at leblanc.addie@yahoo.com.
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