I am 13 and I have been struggling for a while. I feel really, really fed up most of the time for no apparent reason. I sometimes have short periods of extreme hyper-ness, where I laugh a have way too much energy and I feel I cannot control my speech or actions properly, but when these stop I feel really low again. My friends often tell me I stare into space all the time and get really emotionless. I get headaches and different pains all the time and I also get very little sleep because either I can't get to sleep or I keep waking up, without explanation. It's like I don't enjoy stuff now like I used to, for example, I used to do kick-boxing but I am sure people keep talking about me and looking at me so I stopped. I feel like there is something following me half the time, but if I turn around it's gone. I also feel really hopeless, and a couple of times I have considered running away or suicide, but I have stopped myself. I get really bored and sad and my thoughts are all jumbled up, and I say things I don't mean to that are totally unrelated to other things. I am kinda scared of achieving, even though I get good grades, and I don't really want friends anymore because I just don't care. Sometimes I just want to eat nothing, and sometimes I want to keep eating even when I feel sick. I do care about my family but I often feel I should just cut myself off from them, because I am not worth their trouble. I also have a person inside my head that I talk to. That sounds really weird, but his name is Zack and I can see and hear him even though nobody else can. There is another one to who often comes and argues with him and it's really distracting when I am trying to do something. They also tell things I should be doing or tell me what I am doing at the time, which is annoying. I also keep getting feelings of someone touching any skin not covered by clothing. I also get really obsessed over stupid things, like if there are dirty dishes near the sink I have to wash them. This is really annoying because in FT I find it really hard not to do other people's washing up.
I have tried to talk to my Mum a couple of times, because she has depression and so does my granddad on her side of the family, but she makes me feel embarrassed and when I finish talking I just feel worse than I did to start with. My Dad and my friends don't take me seriously when I say I think there is something wrong.
Do you think I really have some kind of disorder, or is it just being a teenager like my mum says? Some of my friends also get moody sometimes, but they don't seem to be as bad as me.
I have tried to talk to my Mum a couple of times, because she has depression and so does my granddad on her side of the family, but she makes me feel embarrassed and when I finish talking I just feel worse than I did to start with. My Dad and my friends don't take me seriously when I say I think there is something wrong.
Do you think I really have some kind of disorder, or is it just being a teenager like my mum says? Some of my friends also get moody sometimes, but they don't seem to be as bad as me.
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Answers
Hi hnics, glad you asked! Since there is a component of depression that is hereditary, you might be onto something there of a possible disorder. But I doubt it's any one thing, because as a teen your body is changing so fast and hormones are a terrible thing to have to figure out. ;)
It does appear that you need to find someone to talk with, who can get to know you and see what might be normal teen angst and what might need treatment. Do you have a school counselor? That would be the first place to ask for help. Do you have a favorite teacher? What about the principal (I know, scary, but they really care about their students and if you went and talked seriously I think she/he would listen well. They have great resources which includes being able to talk to parents for you.)
What about your family MD, is she/he someone you can talk with? I'd see about getting a complete physical to rule out any physical illness that could cause some of what you are sensing.
Stick with this, and keep asking until you find help. You're worth it!
tc
drjean
Thanks for replying! I don't think my school has a counselor, but I will try and find out. I might go and talk to my science teacher, because I get along well with her, but alot of the other teachers joke about me being "emo" all the time so I wouldn't want to talk to them, because I doubt they would take me seriously. As for the head-teacher, well... I have had a bad experience with her in the past, involving me getting told off in front of the whole school for something I didn't do and getting really upset, so I'm avoiding her. Plus, I don't know my doctor at all and going to the doctors really freaks me out, but I will definitely find out about a school counselor. Thank you for your advice, it's good to feel that someone takes me seriously. :)
Hi there hnics. It can be, as Jean said, a lot hormonal issues with your body growing physically and mentally.
I hope the counselor visit went well.
Could you visit a doctor with your family--would that be possible?
Best,
Clyde