Avatar Posted by ilufmonkeys 27 days ago (Question)
i'm 25 years old and have been happily married for 4 years. for the past year, ive started getting these overwhelming feeling of wanting to have a baby. in the past 3 months the feelings have gotten extremely strong to the point that its all i think about. i am feeling really sad and depressed to the point of crying constantly because my husband doesnt want to have a baby, also when ive tried to share these feeling with him he tells me that i need mental help! i NEED to know if these feeling are normal and its ok for me to feel this way, considering that im a woman and i'm ready to be a mother, or if i'm going crazy! i cant go another day arguing with my husband about it.


Answers

Written by beatricejean 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you are 100% normal.

I had those feelings when I was only 21.

I must say I am glad I did not fall pregnant as I realise now I just wanted something...

I needed to fill a void.

You wont want to bring a baby into the world if your hubby is not willing.

Maybe talk to him about when you two should start trying for a baby?

Place some books about the place regarding how women and hormones ect work.

I am constantly explaining to men why and how we feel the way we do.

Perhaps if he has logical evidence (as most men do) like a news article you could email him on how the risks get greater as you get older ect ect he may warm to the idea more.

When a man finds out his woman could be at risk ect the overprotective part usually steps in.

Written by bellacutie 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Does your husband ever want to have a baby in the future?? Did you discuss the possibility of having children before you got married. I think it's very normal for you to feel this way. You may have to try marriage counselling. If you both can't come to an understanding, then you may need to reconsider your marriage - especially if having children is this important to you - which I understand. I think 25yrs of age is a good time to start. Best of luck in solving this,

Bella

Written by ilufmonkeys 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

last January when i started with the wanting a baby, he told me lets wait another year, and now with ''another year'' around the corner, when i asked him if we were still on the same page, he told me no not yet.

I LOVE my husband and i dont want to mess up our marriage because of this, all i want is for him to see that im serious about this, and its not me going crazy.

Another thing is that, he absolutely loves kids! so i dont understand that the heck is his deal wit not wanting to have one.

Written by bellacutie 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I definately don't think your desires to have a child indicates you're crazy - the maternal desire can be very strong. Sometimes if a woman waits until she's older it affects her chances of getting pregant. You only 25 so you're okay there. How are things financially? -can you both afford to have a baby?? Do you think he's afraid of becoming a father?

I think you need to nicely talk to him and get him to give you a reasonable time frame, of when he would like to start having kids. If he's unwilling to do this - then you/he may need some marriage counselling to solve this. You should emphasize that you won't be content in a marriage without children. Having kids can put a strain on couples but they're well worth it. You're not abnormal!! Good luck :)

Written by ilufmonkeys 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

he says that he wants more income... mind you, he has a well paying job (better than well) Im a caterer and make decent money. i dont want to see a psych if i dont have to, i believe the feeling i have are normal, but he's being extremely stubborn. i'm just tired of crying and being sad about this

Written by bellacutie 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree I don't think you need to see a psychologist for this - you're a normal woman. Just calmly get him to commit to a time frame - you need to know if he'll ever be aggreeable to having kids. Good luck :)

Written by Fpsy 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

He sees you as being mental, you see him as being stubborn. Clearly both of you don't understand each other well and both of you are not communication clearly and with good skills.

Going to see a relationship counselor isn't because one of you is mentally unwell. Neither is it a sign that your marriage is bad. Counselors can help couples understand each other and help couples understand that a problem in a relationship is a problem shared by two people.

Here is a website on relationship help around communication etc. It might be a good idea to read through this and get some helpful tips on how you and your husband can work together on solving this problem. Even if your husband is unwilling to work together on this, you will benefit by reading learning some new skills.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/improve_relationships.htm

Hope this helps

Written by Clyde 25 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I dont see anything wrong with what you are feeling. You both really need to see a relationship counselor just so you can talk through things.

It doesnt mean that you guys are falling apart, it just means you have some communication problems.

Best,

Clyde


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