This is me of what I least know:
- 24 yr old man. Handsome (no joke) and talented in numerous creative things.
The full picture:
- I suffer from severe clowning possession by the devil. There are voices in my head that make me rebel on my only shield I attempt to weild and that is and religion. Honestly, I no longer can wait. I need death but I am afraid.
The things I got:
- spinal cord injury 5 years ago. (age of 19) I am completely paralysed from my neck down, I can make eloquent use from my half damaged arms.
-no sensation below neck (can't feel pain anywhere in my body or even hot or cold water.
-ofcorse I can't feel sex or any sort of orgasm.
-i can't control my flowing urine nor my exhausting bowels.
-always fatigued and lay long in bed.

-messed up nostrils from excessive drug abuse that stopped over two years clean now.
- the consequence is I can't breath properly nor smell anything.

-the worst excruciating pain of all: the psychological mind
-severe chronic major depression, tried pills and made it worse (i take no pills other than muscle relaxers occasionally, for severe muscle spasms due to my spinal cord injury.)
- irritation and anger all the time at anything
- anxieties, bipolar mood shifts, and constant suicidal battles.
- fatigue, stress, insomnia
- hatred of humankind at times, and life nearly ask the time

- I hate friends, I find them a total waste of time completely useless
- no success with girls because of the wheelchair ofcourse
- immature and childish outlook towards parents.
- total lack of hope and rebel at religion at times for being irritated when I wil get peace.
Thank you sincerely :(


Answers


bella
750 days ago
Hi - what did you mean you have "severe clowning possession by the devil"?? How did you get the spinal injury? Are you under a doctors care? I'm sorry you're in this unfortunate situation and best thing for you to do is, get some professional help. People can still make the best of their situation but it takes a positive outlook. I understand this is easier said than done. I hope things get better for you and don't lose hope.



Chemar
750 days ago
Hi

I sympathize with your situation. I agree with Bella that you should be in therapy to help you cope with all this. Trying to deal with the changes that paralysis brings alone is something that would be very hard to do. There are remarkable stories of accomplishments by people in even more serious conditions than yours, so there is always hope to still find fulfillment in life, even though it may be very different from what you originally envisioned



shawtyh
749 days ago
Hello,

If you say the reason to your problem is a devil, you need to see someone and have faith in God. If you believe in demons you probably Do believe in god am i right ? and you know that pills are not making a difference, well nothing is. Do not give up on life, this is your life take control of it.

I dont know what your religon is or what you beleive in ? And im glad to hear youve stopped taking drugs which is amazing. Have faith in God and follow your religion as you said this "total lack of hope and rebel at religion at times for being irritated when I wil get peace "

Stay strong and read your scripture what ever it is. I follow Islam and whenever i want peace i open the Quran and i feel so much better. I hope you get better thats why I replied to your post



Bluemuse37
747 days ago
Your first sentence was very positive. I am glad to hear that you can say nice things about yourself. That is nothing short of empowering. I sense like the others that you must believe in God if you believe in demons. You also have an angel. I believe there are angels looking out for us. Even scarier than your unfortunate circumstance of being paralyzed, IMO, is the statement: "I suffer from severe clowning possession by the devil. There are voices in my head that make me rebel on my only shield I attempt to weild and that is and religion. Honestly, I no longer can wait. I need death but I am afraid." It's as if you feel that demons are "playing" with you, which is scary and maybe shows fear or lack of trust in God, too. Are you angry with Him for what has happened? You are strong, it is obvious. You were able to quit drugs... that is AMAZING! You are not alone... ever! I promise. I personally believe God can take your story and use it to help others because you sound like a leader type personality. You are courageous. I am going to pray for you. I agree with the others who have posted answers to your question, too. I just sense that you have a LOT to offer a world full of people who feel lost and are in pain. Being irritated and feeling the things you feel, I'm like "wow, I can't think of a person in the world faced with your situation who WOULDN'T have the issues you describe." Have you ever tried meditation? Exercise of the mind - stretching your mental muscles to endure and find patience, self love, and internal strength. I believe God is the answer... he is stronger than Satan, much less any puny demon satan uses on earth. I know that He works in mysterious ways and someone around you can help you, stand by your side while you work to overcome those things that find you feeling as you do. Keep your eyes and ears open to God's way of working in your life. He hears your prayers and sends people into our lives because we weren't meant to be all alone. I hope you keep us posted on your situation, your outlook, your mental health and your spirituality. I am not going to forget you. I am keeping you in my prayers. God bless your heart! I am so sorry for the struggles you've endured. I fully believe you have an important purpose. Sincerely, Bluemuse37



Bluemuse37
747 days ago
p.s. YES! You are absolutely still human!!