This is me of what I least know:
- 24 yr old man. Handsome (no joke) and talented in numerous creative things.
The full picture:
- I suffer from severe clowning possession by the devil. There are voices in my head that make me rebel on my only shield I attempt to weild and that is and religion. Honestly, I no longer can wait. I need death but I am afraid.
The things I got:
- spinal cord injury 5 years ago. (age of 19) I am completely paralysed from my neck down, I can make eloquent use from my half damaged arms.
-no sensation below neck (can't feel pain anywhere in my body or even hot or cold water.
-ofcorse I can't feel sex or any sort of orgasm.
-i can't control my flowing urine nor my exhausting bowels.
-always fatigued and lay long in bed.
-messed up nostrils from excessive drug abuse that stopped over two years clean now.
- the consequence is I can't breath properly nor smell anything.
-the worst excruciating pain of all: the psychological mind
-severe chronic major depression, tried pills and made it worse (i take no pills other than muscle relaxers occasionally, for severe muscle spasms due to my spinal cord injury.)
- irritation and anger all the time at anything
- anxieties, bipolar mood shifts, and constant suicidal battles.
- fatigue, stress, insomnia
- hatred of humankind at times, and life nearly ask the time
- I hate friends, I find them a total waste of time completely useless
- no success with girls because of the wheelchair ofcourse
- immature and childish outlook towards parents.
- total lack of hope and rebel at religion at times for being irritated when I wil get peace.
Thank you sincerely :(
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