Avatar Posted by mimi772009 32 days ago (Question)
9 years ago, on October 14th my boyfriend of 3 yrs. killed himself. I believe we were soul mates. A day doesn't go by without me thinking of him. I have dreams that he's visiting me. I will always have mixed feelings of love, sadness, and anger towards him. I tried to help him but I wasn't able to. His father killed himself, and he was traumatized by that, but repeated the action. He was a good person despite what he did. Now I am married to a person whom I have two children with, and is emotionally abusive to us. We have recently split, but I felt it was a rebound relationship to begin with. Am I destined to be unhappy and never find a lasting relationship because perhaps my soulmate is dead? Why after nine years can't I forget about him? We were friends for years before we dated, but I was only 24 when he died. I wish everyday that I could wake up, and he would still be here. I also feel that any day everything I love could be taken away from me. I worry so much for my children. Can I ever live without overwhelming fear???


Answers

Written by Clyde 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am very sorry to hear how you are feeling and about your boyfriend.

It is definitely hard to feel better, depending on things like this--this is one of the reasons why I tell others NOT to commit suicide.

People feel that they cannot reach out for help, and perhaps this was part of the way he had felt?

You can beat this, and you can win. You do need to try and stay away from the husband, because he is toxic.

Can you see a therapist or a doctor and explain how you feel?

You are a stronger woman, stronger than you think. Keep working on it!

Best,

Clyde

Written by bellacutie 31 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree I think you should talk things over with a therapist. Suicide is devastating to family and friends. I lost a brother to suicide a year and a half ago. It's very normal to feel mixed emotions of love, sadness and anger. I still think you can find another person to have a deep connection with. I don't think there's only one soul mate per person.

The way I would look at it - is your BF was sick therefore you can't blame him for what he did. You also can't blame yourself - sometimes they're so determined -there isn't anything you or anyone can do. You can't live in the past and dwell on, what might have been or think this was your only chance at happiness. You need to live in the present and take care of the ones who need you now - your children!! You also can worry about the future because those worries may never happen. Try to live in the moment and enjoy your kids. Just because your BF killed himself doesn't mean you'll lose your kids. Best of luck, Bella

Written by Chemar 31 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Mimi

Bella and Clyde have given you very solid advice there.

I just wanted to tell you about an online Survivors of Suicide group where many of the members are family of loved ones lost to suicide and so they would truly be able to understand and support you. They are a very caring group who share their sorrows and joys and help each other along the way

here is the link

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

Written by ariadneg33 31 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

The connection between Divine Complements never dies because it is eternally established at the heart of the spirit. Not that everything would have been perfect if only he had not died, but he could have been healed by your love. Now he's in a heavenly realm not far away seeking to make up for his mistake and entering your dreams to let you feel the love he has for you. I hope that you will get a copy of my book, Divine Complement: The Spiritual Terrain of Soulmate Relationships. It will answer many of your questions.

http://www.ariadnegreen.com

God bless you,

Ariadne Green


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