I can't seem to pull it together, and haven't been able to for months.

I'm late for work and class all the time. It's now over half an hour late daily. Either I can't wake up in time, or get distracted and loose track of time, or spend too much time doing oddities (washing my hands for 20 minutes, repeating things, worrying, praying, counting doing things or hand washing).

I don't sleep well. I rarely make it to sleep by 2 or 3 or 4 a.m. If I don't have to be somewhere the next morning, it's more like 8 or 9 a.m. that I fall asleep by.

I can't seem to focus on tasks. I make a to do list, and procrastinate it. I do tasks too late, or take too long doing them. Simple things like applying to a school or registering for classes are a huge burden for me. Remembering to mail a letter, even, is a task. Everything is a task. I've let my room become a mess. I shower twice a day, so rarely fix my hair (it'd take too long doing it twice). I muster up decent looking outfits. I'm constantly sleepy and tired. I get headaches at least a few times a week. Sometimes I get sick to my stomach, likely because of ridiculous anxiety. I've had high anxiety to the point of causing digestive issues (um..., yeah, gross). I get nervous around crowds. I get nervous going to the store or being out somewhere. I get nervous eating at the cafeteria. I'm nervous around friends. Basically, I'm always nervous doing anything, everywhere. Everything seems to make me nervous- things I can't find a solution for, driving, life, bills, goals in life. I'm over my head in student loans. I don't make enough money. I can't focus on my classes. I'm not very confident. Things seem to 'pile up' so easily now, whereas I used to could handle plenty at once.

It seems like I've been 'not pulled together' for like 6 months- maybe not depressed, but not un-dressed, either.

A doctor or psychologist is out of the question, since I'm already over my head in trying to pay for school. I've tried vitamins and supplements from the grocery store. I've tried drinking less caffeine. I've tried to do lists, trying to go to sleep earlier, and trying to just be myself. I've tried spending more time with friends (I have a few, don't seem them often enough). I've tried eating better. I've tried everything I can think of.

I have very little motivation. There's plenty I should have done long ago, especially in trying to finish school. But, I just can't seem to do it.

I don't have a legitimate reason for being pathetic for this long. Several people close to me (a family member, and several friends) died recently. But even before that, for months, I was like this.. so that's not much of an excuse.

What self-help can I try? Is this just "life," and I need to suck it up and deal with it?


Answers


series0
1788 days ago
With all of the symptoms you describe you are almost certainly experiencing some symptoms of OCD.

Check out this link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

It's important for your wellbeing that you pursue therapy with someone trained in this condition so that you can make sure that this is what you are suffering from and then go on to appropriate therapies.

Right now you havent lost too much time trapped in this pattern (or so it seems). You need to act now while you still can and get a handle on this behavior.

You can do it!

Good Luck!



Chemar
1788 days ago
Hi

we cant diagnose here, but a lot of what you describe does sound like OCD.

usually a combination of either medications or natural supplements plus cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can really help with OCD

my son suffered with very severe OCD, and experienced much relief by taking supplements and some CBT sessions. He has also found that his diet can impact his OCD and so he stays away from artificial food additives like aspartame/nutrasweet, artificial coloring and MSG etc as he finds if he has those, his OCD spikes

there is a quiz here at PsychCentral for OCD that you may want to take to see what results you get

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/

and

you can also read up more about OCD here too

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/ocd/

it really would be a good idea to ask you parents to let you go for a professional evaluation so that you can start correct treatment and not have this control your life negatively. If you need info on the supplements that we found helpful for my son, feel free to contact me via my profile here.



meriii
1788 days ago
can get a copy of linden method from any friend ?

there are plenty of free ebooks...

but i guess you will do good by getting professional help..

try to contact a community based /religious based group who sponsor medical expenses.

------------------------------------------------

@chemar & bellacutie

found that even my MIL has/had problems. I did not ask ..her relative told on her own.

http://answers.psychcentral.com/Anxiety/wife-asks-me-to-speak-words-the-way-she-wants-to-hear-/



bella
1788 days ago
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Meriii,

that's interesting about your MIL. All we can say is try to get your wife to visit her doctor and let the doctor decide if her problems need addressing. Try in the future to keep comments regarding you and your wife, in your posts only (not other posters)since this isn't fair to the other posters. Thank you for understanding. :)



bella
1788 days ago
I agree with the others it's sounds like OCD. I think you should definately visit your doctor and tell him everything you told us here. You really need to get on a regular sleep scheduale and stick to it. Try to keep yourself organized and have clothes, etc. ready for the next morning- this will save time in the morning. I think the lack of sleep is exascerbating your other problems. Please tell your doctor how you're feeling so you can get some relief. Best of luck.



SMiNKLe
1788 days ago
When you mentioned that you get nervous doing anything where another person might be watching, it sounds like Social Anxiety Disorder. Getting anxious when doing tasks such as eating, talking, writing, and several other things in front of people is one of the main symptoms of this. I have heard, but not tried, that medication and doing some cognitive and behavioral exercises will help lessen these symptoms. I also think that the amount of stress and lack of time to "unwind" is adding to the anxiety and stress. This can cause you to sleep less if you are up all night worrying or trying to complete a task, which can make anxiety and depression worse (you can also develop physical problems like hypertension). It sounds like you truly have tried every solution in the book, and I wish you luck on recovery.