Avatar Posted by taylork 40 days ago (Question)
I'm at the point where i really don't know who else to go to. I feel like i have tried to talk to everyone close to me about how i feel, and no one understands. I have serious self esteem issues, have for almost four years now. I cry almost every single night and i really don't feel like i have any reason for living. I'm nothing special, i have no talents and i feel like im going to amount to nothing. I hate everything about myself. There isn't one thing i can say that i like. I have told my mom these exact feelings, and she acts like its nothing. She tells me im a beautiful girl and i have nothing to worry about. Shes my mom, of course she thinks that. She doesn't understand how much it effects me. I have even told her i think about suicide a lot, and all she said was "don't go suicidal on me" and continued to tell me how its a selfish act. It made me feel 100 times worse about myself. I have tried to tell my friends about my insecurities, but all they say is "i get the same way sometimes too." I don't think they do to the extent that i do, since they seem perfectly happy with themselves. I can't go through the day without picking myself apart, and it drives me crazy. I feel so insecure and i just want to disappear. I don't want to end my life necessarily, but i do want it to happen naturally. I don't want to live anymore. Not like this, not as myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I have told my mom i want to talk to a therapist, but she still has not said anything about it. No one understands the severity of how i feel, but inside its tearing me apart. I feel like the ugliest girl alive, with a no good personality. How will i ever make it in the world? I don't want to be alone, i don't want to fail, i don't want to be ME. What do i need to do to show the people close to me how upset i really am? Suicide feels like the only way. I want out. I don't want to hurt anyone, but i don't want to live like this. I will never be comfortable being me. I hate how i look, and i hate the person i am. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like im wasting my life feeling like this, but theres nothing i can do to help it. I compare myself to everyone around me, and i always lose in the end. I just feel so depressed every single day. And theres no one to go to anymore. I don't know what to do, i despise myself.


Answers

Written by Chemar 40 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

so sorry to hear what you are going through.

you need to stress to your mom that you need urgent medical attention to deal with this. It would be good to start at your doctor for a physical and blood tests to be sure your hormones etc are not imbalanced. Then ask the doc for a referral to a psycho-therapist.

if your mom wont pay attention you may need to get a family friend or relative, or even your school counselor to help her to see that this is very important.

Written by Clyde 40 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am sorry to hear what you are going through too.

Chemar is right--you really need to go see a doctor and a therapist.

Can you talk to your school counselor and see what they say? Please dont give up hope, we are here and are others.

Also, you can call 1-800-SUICIDE or go to: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

for help as well.

Best,

Clyde

Written by davec 39 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Holy crap i can relate to this to the T only thing is I'm a guy.. I don't think you could have explained it any better. Maby take what you typed and show it to your therapist and see what he or she says.. That's all i can offer at the moment because i haven't found the answer myself yet or either. I hope that someone can help your feel better , I myself stayed in a Psyc unit for a week "201" < Voluntary not "302" < Involuntary , And it made me feel a little bit better because well my mom wasn't there to make me feel like shit all the time , and 2 allot of the people there are very nice and can relate to you and offer you positive feedback instead of someone picking on you and making you feel even more like crap. I hope everything works out for you. Godbless. Stay Strong ! Don't give up , Don't you ever give up.

Written by lottie110 28 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

i no what you feel like i`m only 13 and im feeling very low and down atm i havnt had the easyist year this year it started of with my nan she died and i was so close to her ,then my mums horse who we have had 13 years got put down this year aswell ,then my dog ,

ive tried to talk to my mum but i carnt tell her im imbarrised and dont no what to do we arnt close we used to be but i find it hard to talk to her about the smallest things ive even treid killing my self (holding my breath )

my freinds seem to think its hormons but i dont im realy scared because im that sort of person to say im gunna go and do somthing and i do it i wouldnt like to kill my self but at the moment it feel as if its the only way out .

IF ANY ONE HAS ANY THING TO HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE BACK . :(


Log in to answer or register here.