So as of some of you may know, I am not going to school this semester. Apparently word got around, and my dad told my best friend (my only friend) that I wasn't going to college. So he sent me a text asking me why, and I told him I didn't know what I wanted to do. Then, I quickly changed the subject and he didn't respond to me. I get the feeling that he is disappointed in me, like I lost his respect and I feel embarrassed for myself.

I'm having trouble waking up lately. I don't have much of a problem falling asleep, but it's difficult to get up. I'm sick of going to bed at 2:00AM- in the morning and waking up at 11:00 AM. It's unacceptable when I'm not going to school and just moping around at home. I'm trying to regularly go to bed at 10:00 PM and wake up at 7:00 AM but it's difficult. I woke up today at around 11:00, sit on the toilet and nap for 5 minutes.


Recently, my dad got divorced with his second wife. He told me that he was very drunk one day and threw a beer bottle at her. I don't know if he had any problems with alcohol in the past, but he hasn't had a drink since then. But his wife changed the keys to the apartment, filed a restraining order, so now my dad is living with my grandparents for the second time (he has before when he divorced my mother).

The even bigger problem is that my dad doesn't know if he will able to keep his apartment and my sister was planning on moving into his basement.

For months, my dad was working on building a place for her in his basement. I also had helped him a lot with destruction, electrical work, drilling, painting, putting down tiles so that my sister could have a place of her own. And now that my dad doesn't have access to the apartment -- we're not sure if he ever will. All of this work has gone to waste.



I'm also finding it difficult to care about my job. Lately, my manager reviewed my performance and he told me that overall I am doing just okay, but I seem like I don't really care about my job and he thinks I hate it, as if I'm just there because he scheduled me. This is true to an extent. I don't love my job, but it's work and I need the money. I just don't have any motivation for my work and seemingly don't care enough.




I finally got my motorcycle license. I am thinking about buying a motorcycle, and maybe that will help with my depression and give me a hobby. There's an old saying "You never see a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrist's office". I've been saving my money for quite a while but for some reason, I feel like I'd feel guilty if I were to buy a motorcycle, especially a brand new one.

And finally, I have health coverage. I can thank Obama for that one.


Answers


Balanced
1046 days ago
It sounds to me like you are thinking about what life holds for you and what you want out of life. If your in a job that does not stir the emotions and does not drive you then there is no reason why you cannot change your job entirely. Draw up a list of wants and desires from work and then look into other aspects, your never to old to learn, to change and to start enjoying life, if you have no motivation for something then perhaps it is time for a change. Plan it carefully, try not to leave yourself in debt, without work etc then gradually make the changes.

The motorcycle seems to denote you may like to travel a bit, to see the world or even just another town, that is well entrenched in the human psyche so perhaps a little road trip may do you some good?

With regards to your dad, if he has his name on the lease then he is rightly entitled to the tenancy of the property, if it's joint names then there is equal legal status, get him to seek an ADR, she may cite the bottle throwing but giving up is not the way to go.

As for school, I did not do final exams at college and can do okay in any matters, people change their work habits and what drives them so you'll find something you like, you have to look first. In hindsight, I would say finish the course so you have the qualifications to fall back on if needed, but theres no harm in looking to other work or studies that may interest you more.

Chin up, these things happen in life but only you can drive yourself and/or make the necessary changes.

All the best, Rick.



onlyrain
1041 days ago
Did you like helping your dad fix up the basement for your sister? If so, maybe you could try contacting people in your area who do renovations, carpentry, electricianry etc & ask if you could job shadow someone for a day? Who knows, you might find something you like better than the job you're doing now & you could get an apprenticeship in many of these careers. Also, you like motorcycles, have you thought about becoming a mechanic?

I'm in the same boat as you are in terms of finding a career...I empathize w/your frustration :)