I am 15 years old and I'm having trouble with my body. Okay, so for the longest time (like 7 months) I have these eating cycles. Some days ill be so hungry and I eat everything I see. Some days i won't be hungry at all and not eat very much. This was normal for me until last week. I'm 4'9 and unfortunately not growing anymore, so normal 15/16 year olds weight is 110 to 120 or up. I figure I can't weigh that much because I'm much smaller so I put a limit to 112. Anyways, two weeks ago I weighed 107 lbs. Which was fine.. I didn't like it, but it wasn't bothering me enough to actually do something about it. Until in the beginning of the week, I wasn't feeling hungry. Okay, seemed fine. Then Tuesday came.. same thing.. then Wednesday came, so on and so forth. I wrote down everything I ate.. and the calories and added it all up. In 7 days I had consumed 1,050 calories. I was in shock, but I wasn't even hungry at all. So then this week comes along and I have ate way* less then 1,050 calories. It's way less because I hate eating! Everytime I eat anything or drink anything, even water! I feel so guilty.. like I feel like a killed someone! And when I get a little hungry I tell myself, go ahead.. get something to eat. And then its this other voice in my head always tell me no. Don't eat that. You'll get fat. Are you serious? Fucking pig! You don't need that. You already ate enough today (when all I've had was water). And its just the voice in my head is so powerful.. I literally can't even force myself to eat or get food. Even when I get a little hungry.. I sometimes enjoy it. I like feeling hungry. Now, I'm down to 95 lbs.. but I still see fat.. and more fat.. and more fat. I don't know what to do anymore? I mean, I know I have a problem.. but is it an eating disorder? Or am I just being stupid? Please help me.. I would really appreciate it. Thank you..
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