Avatar Posted by Chris0614 94 days ago (Question)
Well on July 8th 2009 I had to break up withMy girlfriend because I got grounded for the rest of summer. I thought it was for the best because she is moving away, only like 45 minutes away, and going to a different school. We are still friends though. Ever since our breakup I've been noticing my appetite has like vanished and I never wanna eat. Nothing ever sounds good to me and even though my stomach is empty I am never hungry so I have to force myself to eat even though I'm not even hungry. I'm 15 years old and I'm pretty skinny and not in bad shape. I'm wondering if I'm depressed because of my breakup. Almost every day for about a month and a half I've been thinking about her nonstop. I stay up real late sometimes too just laying and thinking about her. I still talk to her and she says I need to go see a doctor. But the thing that bothers me the most is that she said it only took her two weeks to get over me and we went out for 7 months. She now has found another guy that she likes and her life is quiet good for her right now and mine isn't too good. I just want to get back to normal. Can someone help me?


Answers

Written by lg123 94 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Chris0614. We all have stressful and depressing times in our lives and handle them in many different ways. Some of us cry for days, some of us refuse to get out of bed, some of us become angry and impatient, some people are even all of the above. Some people are "emotional eaters" and eat our way through every comfort food we can think of, and some simply stop feeling hunger all together because of the stress.

The reason why i am pretty sure this sudden appetite problem of yours in because of the stress is it sounds like you weren't experiencing these problems before the break up. So, the only way to get your appetite back is to stop stressing! You are still very young and will probably have many more girlfriends before you find the right one. I know this is very hard to do but it is time to except the friendship you both have. See the fact that she is moving away as a blessing. You will not have to see her as much anymore and it will help you move on faster.

Another thing you might try to do is try exercising. You say that you are not in bad shape so maybe you could focus your energy on a sport you play, if you don't play sports you could go to the gym or outside and run or lift weights. Exercising will help boost your appetite and it is also proven to help your mood. Getting buff might also help with the ladies (; haha!

Perhaps you could also take your ex-girlfriends advice and see a doctor just in case something else is wrong. Just to be safe. Maybe you could try talking to your parents about your appetite problem, they too might be able to help you.

i hope this was helpful for you. I think this might have been the first "big break up" you have gone through and i know how you must feel but just remember there will be many more girls that walk in and out of your life and when you realize this girl is 1 of many i think you will feel much better!

-lg123

Written by Edahn 94 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Lets forget about whether we should or shouldn't call this depression, and whether the eating is related or not. Instead, why don't we just focus on getting you back on track.

I understand that your feelings are hurt because she replaced you so quickly. I would be hurt too. I think that's normal. It's normal. I trust that you'll eventually see that you let her go for a good reason, and that you made the right decision. It's normal to dwell on the good aspects of your relationship after you break up. You can try reminding yourself of the problems you were facing too, to balance out your thoughts and moods.

You can also make a few decisions to help the process move along. You should exercise and try and eat regularly, as lg said. You might also consider ending contact with your ex while you get over her. I've found that it's really hard to move on while I still have contact. Reach out to friends and just hang out with them. Nothing special, just being around them. If there's something that helps you feel warm and calm, like writing, drawing, or music, go for it.

When you first break up with someone, you go through a mini-grieving process. It's a PROCESS. Like a storm that comes and goes, and doesn't need to be rushed in or out and fades gradually, not immediately. Keep that in mind. You'll be alright.

Edahn

Stop contact

Written by Clyde 80 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It will take time for it to work itself out. You both (as well as others) have different times and ways of grieving.

Perhaps you just have not gotten over her yet (which it sounds like).

Maybe seeing a therapist would be good, but do you have a good friend whom you can talk this through with?

Best,

Clyde

Written by justin1989 75 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I totally understand how you feel. Probably even have it worse than you.

My g/f of two years just dumped me, and i didn't see it coming.

I can't eat hardly anything without feeling like i'm going to vomit.

And if she's already found somebody else then forget her. She obviously didn't care enough about the relationship, and i assure you that her next one won't last either.

Let's just hope it's her that gets her heartbroken this time


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