I was with my ex bf/ fiance for almost 2 years. We had a long distance engagement, both of us were so excited about our future!! we were no just perfect soulmates, we were perfect in every aspect. He was teh most caring, amazingm wonderful man i have ever met in my life ( i am 34 now ) He was ALL i have ever dreamed of :( But it all ended on the 19th of March.. He sent me a text to my cell saying is over. I tried to call him, to talk .. he didnt want to answer. he cut me off from his life completely! i havent spoken to him since the day before it was over ( he ended it with me through a text message on my cell )
The reason he said is over is because he " lost all trust and faith in me* because i was not able to permanently move with him soon enough, as i promised.
I asked him through another text message if there is someone else, that im devastated and i need closure, i need to know whats happening.. He said he was interested in someone else and i need to move on. I asked if i could book the flight and go there and he said No , its too late.
I have not heard from him since then. I have called him hundreds of times i think in the first week, he blocked all my numbers. I dont call him anymore now.. it has sunk in my mind is all over. But i cant cry and keep obsessing about him, about us, about OUR future! we planned all in detail, he was my love, my soulmate, my everything! and now he wont even talk to me on the phone, now i dont exist to him anymore :'( I wish i was stronger but im not. I couldnt eat for a week, i ended up in ER. Im ok now phisically, but i have panic attacks almost daily, and i cant stop obsessing. Every minute, every hour... My family is in europe, im all alone here in US , he was my everything. He was my life..
What do i do?? talking about what happend doesnt help, i cant overcome my feelings of GUILT for not moving with him soon enough. I feel liek im leaving a nightmare, i miss him so much! only if i could hear from him, or even a letter.. but it wont happen. And i dont know how im going to survive this
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