Avatar Posted by GirlWithNoHeart 49 days ago (Question)
Hi, I'm a teenager and I cut myself.

In September, my father died from heart failure.

But there was so much to his story.

I was never close to my dad, but he would do anything for me. He always wanted me to be happy, and he always chose family over friends. He worked two jobs just to make ends meet. But he had fought with my mom since i was born, and they hated eachother.

My dad had to take pills to help his heart, and recently he stopped taking them, which caused a blood clot and they couldn't help him in time. I can't help but think it was suicide. Why would he just suddenly stop taking them?

I cried for days, I was depresssed, and my mom had to call everyone, and she's falling apart. It was like a bombshell when she called a contact on my dad's old cell.

It was his girlfriend.

My family tried to lie to me and tell me he didn't have a girlfriend, but I had listened to the conversation. My dad had been cheating on my mom for 6 months before his death. That caused my mom to sink into even more major depression than she is alreadt in, and I lost all faith in God.

I had to go back to school, and it was awkward. I'm the girl with the dead father. Everyone is too scared to talk to me. I cry all the time and sometimes I resort to cutting. It hurts, but I want the scars to be there. To show everyone how much my life sucks.

I think about suicide all the time, and I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Even with life insurance, we all need to help, becuase, money is getting scarce.

Please, I'm not looking for your condolences and sympathy. Those are definetly appreciated, but I feel like no one understands. That I might as well be dead.

Just please...give me advice on how I can straighten up my life? Tell me how I can deal with all these untold secrets and pain from a major loss? Please tell me how I can deal with all this without hurting myself?

Thank you.


Answers

Written by Chemar 49 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

My deepest sympathy at the loss of your dad and the trauma that has followed

honestly, it sounds like you need to be in the care of a professional who can help. have you asked your mom to let you go to see the doctor or a therapist? I realize with her own pain and depression now she is likely very preoccupied. Perhaps you could go together? Does she know you have been hurting yourself?

there is also a forum at PC to help re self injury

http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=17

the members there are very caring and can offer you the support that you need right now

Please dont let the mistakes your Dad made rob you of your life! try to forgive him and take care of you ((((hugs))))

Written by menonin 49 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Life should go on. The power of life is to live even if you are alone. You have this life to learn a lot of things and enjoy a lot of events. Those are waiting for you. But you have a great mother. So you are blessed. Hurt, Sadness and confusions are better to be avoided. Your father was what he was. Your mother is what she is. Accept and love the life as it is. The things that disturb you, worries you will simply vanish as you take your own responsibility of your studies and your Positive engagements in your own house helping your mother and thinking about and seeking to know great beautiful things and life in and around you. Never ever carry things that make you sad. It is the mind that takes care of everything. Keep enjoying every bit of life. Kick out sadness and bring in happiness. These are simple functions of Mind you take care of it. Be brave - be firm and let not allow the circumstances and events disturb you or your thoughts. You are great and different. You can be far better person and a great bright life awaiting you there in your front. Just lead yourself to reach it. Time will take care of everything. Concentrate on your duties and get back to life. If you see any wrongs in any of your immediate people just pardon them – Only you have the power to give that. This is a great asset one has.

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am definitely sorry about what has happened with your father.

While the PC Forums are good--could you also contact your school guidance counselor and let them know how you are feeling?

That definitely will help you.

Best,

Clyde


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