Psych Central Answers - How do i go through life with the constant thought about suicide and always hating myself

How do i go through life with the constant thought about suicide and always hating myself

Posted by Misho 226 days ago (Question)

So lets get started shall we? Ok i am 16 years old, have fairly wealth parents, go to a nice school, have always been very intelligent, but i never applied myself. In school my tests were always 100% and my homework was 50% or lower which is how i went through my school life with c's d's and f's. Now i also play soccer but i dont feel like i'm good, im the captain of our JV team as a sophomore. Anyways back on subject, I have thought about suicide alot in the past 3 years, i told my parents and they put me in theropy. I got malested when i was 7, my parents got divorced when i was 8, and now i have decided to quit soccer because i suck. In my life right now, all i have left is my girlfriend (going on 3 1/2 months) and my friends, but i cant hold on to my girlfriend (metaphorically speaking) because she wont like that, and i dont really have more then 2 close friends. After realizing all this i dont see any point in doing anything in life, i just want to die and get this over with =/

Please reply i really do appreciate it

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written by mockingbird89 226 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hey,

I'm going through something similiar to what you're describing (i'm 16 as well). To lack confidence in yourself effects people WAY more than others may think. It really can negatively effect you by making you avoid things you like to do, neglecting things that are important because you're stressing out on other things, and make you feel worthless. I know how that feels. I really think you should hang in there though, because as you get older, things do get easier. It's hard to focus on the positive things in your life and not dwell on the negative, but you somehow have to just occupy your time so you don't think about all the bad stuff. Save that for when you talk to your therapist, who can hopefully see what your talking about and try to help you. Please don't kill yourself. Just hang in there and take small steps in making yourself feel better.

Good luck.

written by Edahn 225 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

DON'T YOU DARE!

16's a hard age. Everyone's measuring themselves against other people's yardsticks, because they haven't yet created their own yardstick, nor have they discovered what they love about themselves.

When I was 16, I was horribly uncoordinated. I was never #1 (or hell, #35) in sports or in school. It sucked because my dad is kind of a perfectionist and can do nearly everything. On top of that, I wasn't as sexy as I am now and I suffered with social anxiety.

I'm 28 now and I'm much happier. Nothing magical happened. I just found some skills (usually by accident, actually) that I'm fairly decent at and applied them. I realized that other people's values in life weren't my own, and decided what was important to me (helping people, looking at myself, friendships) and what wasn't as important (money, popularity, knowing the encyclopedia by heart, etc).

Honestly, I think you're in a good position, even though that might sound counter-intuitive. You're articulate, intelligent, introspective, and you've suffered a great deal. Suffering sucks, but it also gives you a tremendous capacity to be empathic and self-confident. It might not seem like that right now, but you have the seeds for those things planted in you. Others don't.

My advice would be to cut yourself a little slack and recognize that you're in a tough position, in a difficult time, with difficult circumstances. You're doing an awesome job, and reaching out to people on this site shows that somewhere, you care about yourself and have some hope, even if it's just a little drop right now. You can buy a book on depression and start working through it. You should also consider seeing a psychiatrist and getting their opinion.

If things get really bad, call for help. 1-800-SUICIDE is a free crisis line that can provide some help. You can always post here, as well.

written by Clyde 215 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Why do you feel your girlfriend wont go for it?

You must be pretty good, because you are the captain, right?

The teen years does take a lot out of you--this is when you learn who you are and what to do.

Realize that it takes some time, and that you need to start working through it, slowly, but surely.

Seek professional help who can make you feel better about yourself. It may not happen tomorrow, the next day or the one after that, but it is coming.

Best,

Clyde

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