Avatar Posted by lulu27 938 days ago (Question)
My boyfriend is suffering from very bad depression at the moment. I've tried just sitting and listening to him talk about everything and hoping that it will eventually get better, but it hasn't. For about a month now, he's been talking a lot about suicidal and I can't deal with him talking about that. He says he won't cause he doesn't want to let me nor his mom down. But I'm not sure what I should say to him anymore. I've tried suggesting him to go see a therapist, but he said that they just scam people for their money. I try not to bring up anything that will upset him, but he brings it up any ways. He doesn't want to leave the house anymore. I'm extremely worried about him.

He has not lived the best life in the world. He's struggled a lot with his dad. His dad would plant drugs in his car, then call the cops on him. My boyfriend would get sent to juvy. He got kicked out of his dad's house several times, and every time he did nothing wrong. His dad's verbally and physically abused him. His dad kicked him out for the last time, and for a long time he was living with his ex girlfriend. Her parents ended up kicking him out because he got her pregnant. When they kicked him out, he started hanging out with kind of a rough crowd. He started doing some illegal things. When I met him, he decided to pull away from all that and decided to live with his mother. He's been living with his mother for the past 5 months and has been doing okay until about 2 months ago. He started to take everything that he'd gone through too hard on himself. In the beginning of this month, his baby was born. Her parents wouldn't let him sign the birth certificate. The baby was sick so he couldn't go to where all the other little baby's go. The mother of his ex girlfriend took the other bracelet that the father is suppose to have to be able to see his baby. Just two days after my boyfriend's son was born, the parents of his ex wouldn't allow him to come to the hospital anymore to see his baby boy. It's been several weeks & he has no idea whether his baby is alive or dead. The parents of the ex girlfriend are filing for custody of him, so he won't have anything to do with his son. He has been taking this hard, along with dealing with his past. This isn't even part of what he has gone through, he's gone through much more. He won't go into some of the things.

I'm just not sure what to say to him anymore. I am personally an all around happy person, so I have no idea what he is going through. I tell him that, and he just tells me he doesn't expect me too. So he understands that I can't help him, but what should I say to help him when he does talk about it?


Answers


dusky1
938 days ago
your boyfriend needs to see as therapist...there is really nothing that you can do for him....what you need to do is convince him to see a therapist more than anything.

Ppl who suffer from depression will always feel as though no one understands, I know, i suffer from it.

So your main objective should really be getting him to see a therapist.

Maybe he had a bed experience in the past and that's why he feels the way he does, so try working with that.
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Clyde
938 days ago
To me, and to others, depression can tell us "lies." Maybe with the depression, it is telling him he will not get any help from a therapist.

But, where does he expect to get help from?

I really do like the idea that you are listening and helping as much as possible, because that is a very good idea.

Can you google depression and read more into it?

I am not saying you are, but try not to be judgmental. Any kind of thing like that, and he will feel that it is his fault and "you dont understand."

I can definitely understand why he would feel upset and depressed, but he really needs to try and talk to a therapist so he can feel better.

Are there any adults he would feel comfortable talking to/with?

Best,

Clyde
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JunieBeatrice
938 days ago
Just be there for him. Even if he does not want to talk. Even if you do not want to talk. Go for a walk with him. Hold his hand. Don't give up trying to get him to a therapist. Just be there. All my best. Junie
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bella
937 days ago
I think he should get advice from legal aid regarding his rights to seeing his child. He has the right to see his baby. I agree with the other posters - he should start seeing a therapist. Is he on medication for depression at all? If not he should go to his family doctor. Tell him he can post here as well - he may like the fact it's anonymous.

He needs to fight for his life. Best of luck, Bella
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Fpsy
937 days ago
Hi Lulu,

I agree that you boyfriend is in need of a professional counselor or therapist to help him with his depression and other thoughts and feelings. Like Bella has suggested legal aid might be able to help him, regarding his custody and visitation issues with his child.

Here is a website for helping someone with depression. There is some really good information on there. Helping someone who is depressed can take a toll on you, so It's important that you take care of yourself. There is only so much a friend or partner can do for the person who is depressed.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/living_depressed_person.htm

I hope this helps
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