How do I handle all of the issues she brings in
How do I handle the car I cosigned for
what should I do about the fact that shc still lives at home
how do I not feel guilty about being firm
How do I handle the car I cosigned for
what should I do about the fact that shc still lives at home
how do I not feel guilty about being firm
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Answers
I usually don't agree with tough love but sometimes it takes a strong stand to help them move on. I would take her car away, give her NO money. Insist that she stay on her med for depression. Start taking things away until she is uncomfortable. You can put up with the whining you will probably hear or you can take her clothes, put them in the yard and tell her to whine to the homeless shelter. Of course as a mother it would be hard to do, but she has to learn that there are boundries and consequences.
I think you do have to stand firm. You do have to tell her that you are the parent, and if she doesnt do stuff you want her to do then you will take the car away, take things away, etc.
You want to talk to her too, and see if you can get her to understand that she needs to be more responsible. She is an adult, and she should act like one.
Best,
Clyde
Your daughter is 28 and is old enough to be responsible for taking care of her diabetes. Even if she is very ill and not able to work, she is still living under your roof. If she chooses to abuse that priviledge, she needs to make other arrangements.
My suggestion is that you help her get on her own by pushing her out of the nest, possibly paying a one month rent for her to give her time to find a job and tell her that she must learn how to take care of herself. Assure her of your love and continued encouragement but that she is not a child but a grown woman.
You should not feel guilty for giving her a push to grow up and learn how to take care of herself. That is a life skill that everyone has to learn whether they are disabled or healthy.
Yes, she will maybe even be mad at you, but if she learns something and makes a life for herself because of your action, she will be better off. You are her mom. She has been raised and is grown. As long as you allow this behavior, she will continue....... Go for it!
pianogirl