My parents, while extremely loving, get mad when I leave home. If I go to the mall with my friends or spend the weekend at college they become furious. They seem to be uneasy with my leaving the house. I'm not sure why but this problem has escalated in the past five to six years. As of last summer I started having trouble making eye contact with my professors, I am afraid of people talking to me, or being embarressed in public etc. I'm not sure why my parents are angry at me or why I am having so much trouble making friends. Living this way is driving me crazy but I'm afraid to say anything--I don't think people (least of all my parents)will believe me. To compound that matters my dad seems to be displaying symptoms of bipolar disorder but refuses to be evaluated. One day he's EXTREMELY happy, the next EXTREMELY angry. His polar moods make it impossible to reason with him. My mom feels that she should stay with my dad and pretend that things are fine to keep our family unit together. I feel depressed and am afraid of potentially harming myself. I can't talk to my parents--they do not want to listen. I've tried. Thank you for your time and advice.
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Answers
My parents also were in denial about their mental health issues, and were domineering about my leaving the house. By the middle of high school I'd started developing panic attacks when I'd try to go anywhere. As a result I dropped out of school, lost most of my social connections, and spent 7 years of my life stuck inside with depression and agoraphobia.
It was as though their doubts and fears about my competence at handling real-world situations became internalized--like on a subconscious level. I don't know.
But I do know that it wasn't until after mom died that I could begin healing, and slowly coming out of my shell. It took a lot of work, and professional help, but now I'm a pretty normal, functional 26 year old college student. I have a job, and am comfortable with myself and others.
I do, however, wish I had those 7 years of my life back. If I was you, I'd get away from there.
It could definitely be mental health issues, or it could just be the whole family dynamic--what every one has become "used" to.
The shyness could also not be really shyness, it could just be your way of dealing with things, also, not making eye contact, etc., makes you appear not as strong to others and makes yourself not confront things.
I know you don't want to go all different on anything, but I would definitely find another place to be after awhile, especially if you feel your growth is so stifled there.
Best,
Clyde
Seems like you used to be pretty healthy, able to get out of the house and hang out with friends, but that your parent's desire to keep you isolated filtered down into your OWN subconscious. I think that tough to deal with parents can be dealt with IF you are able to balance that out with healthy relationships outside. Please don't let thier fear of letting you into the real world cause you to retreat from real life.