i've been really sad lately. i don't like this feeling. i keep trying to convince myself to be happy, in the hopes that it will come true. but it's not working. i'm lonely, but almost every time i go hang out with my friends in the back of my head i want to be somewhere else. then when i am by myself, i wish someone was there. i've been crying a lot, which is really odd for me. i don't generally cry frequently. i punched a wall two weeks ago because i was mad. i wasn't mad at anything in particular, but i started to get more mad because i was mad over nothing. and the wall was the closest thing to me. i live alone, and i used to love it. now i don't like it as much. i'm a really autonomous person, and i used to really enjoy solidarity. it helped me get back to zero with all the stresses of work and school. but now, when i am at zero i am upset. i don't get it. usually, i can keep my head and my heart very separate. but now they are merging together, and i would think this would be a good thing. but it's making some upset in me erupt. i have no appetite, i'd rather sleep than eat. i can't focus on my school work lately. i'm stuck in my head. i can't find anything that's making me happy anymore. video games, comic books, seeing my friends, reading, learning. all these things usually make me happy, but they don't anymore. i met someone who was only interested in sex, and i thought that would work for me. but it feels wrong, so wrong. that's something i've never had an issue with, emotionless sex. it doesn't bother me, but it's starting to. he wanted to meet up late this week, and i'm going to have to cancel. every fiber in my being is saying i shouldn't go through with it. so i'm not going to. i'm craving connection, but i think when i get there that i will want to be somewhere else. i don't know what's going on in my brain lately. please help me


Answers


bella
1534 days ago
Your mind and body is trying to send you a message - somethings not right. You say you're an autonomous person, but sometimes we can change and become usatisfied with our lives. Even though you're normally happy being solitary, people change. I think you should visit your doctor because some of your symptoms sound like depression but we can't diagnose over the internet. You may just need someone to talk to, so I suggest you speak with a college counselor or a trusted person you can confide in.

Trust your instincts with this guy you've hooked up with -if you feel it's only abut sex then I think you should avoid him - you're worth more than that. It's sounds like you're yearning for a deeper connection to someone. Evaluate your lifestyle and make sure you're eating healthy,exercising and sleeping well. I hope you feel better soon and I'm sorry you feel lonely.



MountainLion
1534 days ago
You are out growing and giving up many of your old ways of living. That can rubber-band one into Depression. Your head should be connected to your Heart. Go with that connection! As your feelings of depression melts away through the passage of time, you will find newer exciteing and deeper things in life to persue.



Edahn
1534 days ago
Hm. I think you're probably so miserable because you're putting so much pressure on yourself to BE SOMEONE...someone else...instead of just relaxing a little, feeling whatever you're feeling, and being alright with it for a minute. That "alrightness" is a way to reclaim your mind and feelings. You might not feel like a million bucks right away, but if you actually just let yourself feel what's going on, you'll feel calm, safe...okay. It is a different feeling from being excited and peppy, but it's a good feeling nonetheless.

Eventually, you'll feel like there's more "space" to be yourself. But it comes through patience and really opening up to what's here. People these days like to think that there's something WRONG with feeling sad or feeling anxious. That's not true. It's not a sin. It's just what happens sometimes and it's okay. You aren't defective and as soon as you start feeling it and being patient, you'll start to see that you have more options.

The gist: approach it instead of running away from it. Give yourself a break instead of forcing yourself to feel something else.

Best of luck,

Edahn



divinita20
1226 days ago
Please check out youwantthis.org.. I feel you resonate with that mentioned in the symptoms page..



weronica
653 days ago
Same position :'(