i have alot of things going on in my head and i cant take it anymore.. i am a 20 year old single mother and my depression is taking over me. me and the father of my child broke up about 10 months ago and do this day all i do is think about him. we broke up because he cheated on me while i was pregnant and about 2 weeks after i had our child. i have been looking for someone ever since and i can not find anyone i feel ugly.. i feel like no one wants to be with me that i am gonna grow old and be single. about a month or so ago i found out that my best friend whom i trusted was messing around with my ex which i still have feelings for and they are mad at me and i dont understand why they are mad at me.. i go to bed thinking about it every night i just want to fall asleep without seeing them. i dont know if i really want him back at all but i know that i do have strong feelings for him still and i dont want them two to be together.. but other than him i try to find someone they all tell me im pretty but i think that no one wants to be with me because i have a kid.. my kid means everything to me and if they dont want me because of him then i dont want them but im sick of being lonely i want someone in my life.. i hate being alone more than anything.. i just feel like the last 5 months of my life has done nothing but go down hill. it all started off by getting pulled over for an expired registration that my ex neglacted to tell me about, then not even a week later i hit a bear and it totalled my car and i loved that car, then i find out that my ex and best friend were going behind my back, she started a rumor that i am a terrible mother and dont deserve my child which hurt me more than anyone could ever imagine, i cant find a job anywhere and i dont have a car to travel, and im so sick of rejection. someone please help me i dont want to cry anymore i dont want to feel worthless or ugly.. i dont want to be like this anymore i want my old self back now


Answers


JunieBeatrice
1751 days ago
Hi. You sure have had a rough time of it of late. I am not so good at relationship type questions but I understand depression. Right now it sounds like you are just totally exhausted and out of coping energy. You sound like you are a good mother who loves her child. Hang on to that. Do not let vicious rumors tear you down more. Do you live close to some family that can help you out? Do you have a church that you go to? Sometimes clergy can be really good at helping even with tangible things like rides and a job. This can be a good place to start. Try to get some good friends or family around you to give you some support and take the load off you a bit. Try to just focus on getting your life situated without your ex, take care of yourself and continue taking care of your child. Take some deep breaths and try to realize how great you are and how much you mean to that child. All my best. Junie



dusky1
1751 days ago
Ok....obviously there is a deeper lying issue at hand here and it's the fact that you think very little of yourself. You think that ur not pretty enough, that ur not a good mother, that no one cares about you, etc, etc. This has nothing to do with your present situation, but thoughts that have been embedded in you for a while now.

That said, I understand that it will not be as easy as saying, 'pick yourself up, you don't need him, you're beautiful, etc, etc.

So what I will tell you is that you have to first learn to love yourself. Because if you don't do that first, then you will find yourself in a string of other bad relationships that will only compound your present situation because then you'll really be wondering if no one loves you and if you will have to spend the rest of your life alone.

Loving yourself is hard, I know, I have problems doing it while knowing to myself that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, etc, etc....it's still hard believing it. But understanding that you have to is the first step.

Get comfortable with yourself first, because it seems as though you need a guy to validate your existence. You're only 20...(so am I)...and you have all the time in the world, A nice guy will come around, think positive and don't worry about it too much. Just focus on you and prepare yourself for when he comes along, so that you're in a position to maintain a healthy relationship for both you and him.

As it relates to your ex and ur ex-best friend....the two of them deserve each other. I fully understand the fact that when u have that kind of connection with someone it's hard to just let go and move on....but this too will happen with time, think positive and ride it out.

If she was really your friend, she wouldn't have messed with your boyfriend whether ex or otherwise, so you don't need her in your life. And if your boyfriend really loved you and respected you he wouldn't have slept with your best friend, so you don't need him either.

So just try to phase the both of them out and wih time you will get over it.

As for your life, stay positive, life is hard, no one ever said it would be easy...i know it is annoying to tell someone who is depressed that, but it's a fact. Nothing will come to you, you have to work for it.

Don't think that you're worthless, don't think that there's nothing you can't do and if you need any motivation....think of your child.

Do everything from no on for him, think about him and ask yourself...'is this how I want him to see me?' and I'm sure that will get you going.

Finally, always remember that a bad day, is just that....a bad day. Ride it out. Think back on all the bad things that have happened in your life and am sure you can say that they're just a memory now....so this too shall past....hold on and keep your head up.

I wish you all the best....don't give up...your worth something and so is your baby.



Clyde
1751 days ago
Wait a minute. Realize what you said...your kid means everything to you, yet you don't think you can go on?

Life is indeed always hard my dear. It never does come easy.

Focus on your child and the positive aspects of your life.

Best,

Clyde



Chandler
1646 days ago
May I say something? Ma'am if you feel this way then don't. Your not ugly you just jumped into a relationship too soon and you couldn't really think that he was the one, I know that last part sounds rude but please don't take it that way. Being a mother and alone is not difficult, try being a 16 year old that wants to kill her self, well thats me. I hate being fat and that no one wants me, I know I have my whole life ahead of me but just think that maybe it would be easier if I could just die. It would make things worse than they are. I love to love but no one loves me back. It seems that I have to lie to people because I don't want them to know the true me. I am sweet and kind and I help my fiends and people who seem to have a rough time in life. I am a very smart kid but yet I lack the love. I have a single parent and hats my mom, she is barely home and well I tell her everything, but I need that part in my life where I feel whole and that maybe I can be honest with people about the way I look. This guy has it a lot worse than me and well I wish I could help him but we live in separate areas so I can't help him, but my pc yes, but in person no. He called me an Angel but I can't believe that. So many times I just hold my breath but I can't go through it, I have too much to live fore and well I want to live, but those thoughts just come back. It would make for me things a lot easier but then I think about everyone that I am living for and I don't think about death any more, what I am trying to say it just live and love.Even if no one loves you back your kids will. They will love you every day of your life. Keep strong and just love your kids. Times are rough all over but if we stand together and don't think those bad thoughts than maybe just maybe we can make this world better, one person at a time. I believe in you and that I hope that everything goes okay for you, with lots of love-Eva, thats my real name. Just letting you know, keep strong hun, you are strong.



depressedmom
1183 days ago
i know how you feel and im dont want this to seem like im trying to down play your situation but be thankful your not in my shoes i was sold to into sex trafficking and was raped by a pimp and became pregnant i dont believe in abortion and adoption wasnt something i could cope with so i kept my child my mother abused me physically and verbally my whole life and when she found out i was pregnant boy did she have a field day and when she found out how i got pregnant she called me a liar a whore and a nigge* lover i went thru my whole pregnancy alone trying to cope with the events that had happened to me in the prior year and those leading up to how and why i was pregnant my son is now almost a year and a half and ive never felt so alone i have no family no friends i have no one i try to take care of us off my little $674 a month i have to pay rent, buy food, clothes, do laundry gas phone everything most days i dont get to eat and i cant get any state aide because i have no info on the father everywhere i have turned for help its been thrown in my face how my child was created as if it were my fault ive been attacked by people on facebook telling me i deserved what happened to me in the last 8 months ive gained over 70pounds im angry im sad i dont want to move i feel like i want to hurt everyone and everything what did i do to deserve this? ive recently been told by someone i dont know that i look like a polar bear and someone i was walkin passed said i was disgusting! im only 200 pounds they act as if im a contagious disease i do my hair i wear makeup and i try to dress as best as i can i surely dont look like a bum but maybe my eyes are broken amoung other things i hate my life i hate where i am im stuck in a hole and cant get out i cant get a job or go to school because i cant afford daycare and i cant get daycare without a job and with no family or friends in site to help me get started what can i do? sometimes i wish i didnt have my son i wont even lie i think about it alot in a sense he has ruined my life and in another he saved it i just wish it wasnt this dam hard and i wish i wasnt so alone its been 457 days since ive gone out and ive been single for 3 years im beyond depressed im beyond overwhelmed but what can i do? honey there are other fish in the sea and she isnt that good of a friend if she would do something like that and he will probably do her the same way find you a decent man!