Avatar Posted by cassienlandyn 41 days ago (Question)
i have alot of things going on in my head and i cant take it anymore.. i am a 20 year old single mother and my depression is taking over me. me and the father of my child broke up about 10 months ago and do this day all i do is think about him. we broke up because he cheated on me while i was pregnant and about 2 weeks after i had our child. i have been looking for someone ever since and i can not find anyone i feel ugly.. i feel like no one wants to be with me that i am gonna grow old and be single. about a month or so ago i found out that my best friend whom i trusted was messing around with my ex which i still have feelings for and they are mad at me and i dont understand why they are mad at me.. i go to bed thinking about it every night i just want to fall asleep without seeing them. i dont know if i really want him back at all but i know that i do have strong feelings for him still and i dont want them two to be together.. but other than him i try to find someone they all tell me im pretty but i think that no one wants to be with me because i have a kid.. my kid means everything to me and if they dont want me because of him then i dont want them but im sick of being lonely i want someone in my life.. i hate being alone more than anything.. i just feel like the last 5 months of my life has done nothing but go down hill. it all started off by getting pulled over for an expired registration that my ex neglacted to tell me about, then not even a week later i hit a bear and it totalled my car and i loved that car, then i find out that my ex and best friend were going behind my back, she started a rumor that i am a terrible mother and dont deserve my child which hurt me more than anyone could ever imagine, i cant find a job anywhere and i dont have a car to travel, and im so sick of rejection. someone please help me i dont want to cry anymore i dont want to feel worthless or ugly.. i dont want to be like this anymore i want my old self back now


Answers

Written by JunieBeatrice 41 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi. You sure have had a rough time of it of late. I am not so good at relationship type questions but I understand depression. Right now it sounds like you are just totally exhausted and out of coping energy. You sound like you are a good mother who loves her child. Hang on to that. Do not let vicious rumors tear you down more. Do you live close to some family that can help you out? Do you have a church that you go to? Sometimes clergy can be really good at helping even with tangible things like rides and a job. This can be a good place to start. Try to get some good friends or family around you to give you some support and take the load off you a bit. Try to just focus on getting your life situated without your ex, take care of yourself and continue taking care of your child. Take some deep breaths and try to realize how great you are and how much you mean to that child. All my best. Junie

Written by dusky1 41 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Ok....obviously there is a deeper lying issue at hand here and it's the fact that you think very little of yourself. You think that ur not pretty enough, that ur not a good mother, that no one cares about you, etc, etc. This has nothing to do with your present situation, but thoughts that have been embedded in you for a while now.

That said, I understand that it will not be as easy as saying, 'pick yourself up, you don't need him, you're beautiful, etc, etc.

So what I will tell you is that you have to first learn to love yourself. Because if you don't do that first, then you will find yourself in a string of other bad relationships that will only compound your present situation because then you'll really be wondering if no one loves you and if you will have to spend the rest of your life alone.

Loving yourself is hard, I know, I have problems doing it while knowing to myself that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, etc, etc....it's still hard believing it. But understanding that you have to is the first step.

Get comfortable with yourself first, because it seems as though you need a guy to validate your existence. You're only 20...(so am I)...and you have all the time in the world, A nice guy will come around, think positive and don't worry about it too much. Just focus on you and prepare yourself for when he comes along, so that you're in a position to maintain a healthy relationship for both you and him.

As it relates to your ex and ur ex-best friend....the two of them deserve each other. I fully understand the fact that when u have that kind of connection with someone it's hard to just let go and move on....but this too will happen with time, think positive and ride it out.

If she was really your friend, she wouldn't have messed with your boyfriend whether ex or otherwise, so you don't need her in your life. And if your boyfriend really loved you and respected you he wouldn't have slept with your best friend, so you don't need him either.

So just try to phase the both of them out and wih time you will get over it.

As for your life, stay positive, life is hard, no one ever said it would be easy...i know it is annoying to tell someone who is depressed that, but it's a fact. Nothing will come to you, you have to work for it.

Don't think that you're worthless, don't think that there's nothing you can't do and if you need any motivation....think of your child.

Do everything from no on for him, think about him and ask yourself...'is this how I want him to see me?' and I'm sure that will get you going.

Finally, always remember that a bad day, is just that....a bad day. Ride it out. Think back on all the bad things that have happened in your life and am sure you can say that they're just a memory now....so this too shall past....hold on and keep your head up.

I wish you all the best....don't give up...your worth something and so is your baby.

Written by Clyde 41 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Wait a minute. Realize what you said...your kid means everything to you, yet you don't think you can go on?

Life is indeed always hard my dear. It never does come easy.

Focus on your child and the positive aspects of your life.

Best,

Clyde


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