Avatar Posted by venesra 140 days ago (Question)
I know I am depressed, by what medical or psychological degree I do not yet know. I am currently awaiting for my 3 months to pass for my insurance to kick in at my new job, so that I can find a therapist or psychiatrist to talk to about it. I have been overweight since I was ten years old, I'm now 23. I have my first relationship, it's very difficult. I am now becoming more aware of myself, and how self concious I am of my body. I have always felt badly about my body, but when you put another person in the mix, someone who will inevitably see you naked during sex, it makes all the issues resurface, all my insecurities. I know that if I start to exercise my body will naturally reverse some aspects of my depression. But that's just the problem. I feel worthless. I have no care to exercise because I have no care for myself. I KNOW how to change I just don't have the tools. Food used to be a joy, I used to love cooking and creating. And now that I see what a negative effect it's had on my life I want nothing to do with it. I haven't felt hunger in so long, I've lost the desire to eat. I assure you this isn't some depressed scheme to unhealthily lose weight. maybe it is, maybe im trying to convince myself it's not. But I just don't want it anymore. the thing that used to comfort me and make me happy has ruined the once good life i had. Now i hate it. i want to break up with food. i want to stop hurting. i want normal healthy people to stop acting like i dont want to be happy or be better.


Answers

Written by bellacutie 139 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I agree it does sound like you're depressed. Food isn't your enemy here, it's your relationship with the food and your self esteem that's the problem. If you don't eat you can't live and not eating will only make your depression worse because your brain is the first to suffer if you're not eating properly. If you've had a weight problem since you were ten then most likely you were brought up not knowing healthy eating patterns and food choices.

If you eat healthy you can actually eat MORE. You want to throw out junk and processed foods and reach for fruits and vegetables. Eat more chicken and fish and only red meat once a week - also stay away from breaded and fried foods. You also want to cut out all pop and allow yourself one small treat once a day. You also want to switch to low fat milk and cut down on cheeses.

For exercise you want to start out slow - if you don't then it will seem impossible to do. You don't have to go to a gym if you don't want to. I like Kathy Smith DVD's - she's very motivating. I also highly recommend lifting weights - you can go to your sports store and buy a set of dumbbells in different sizes. If you buy the Kathy Smith's Fat Burning Workout, there is a great segment on weight training. Weight training will give you the fastest results if you combine it with power walks of 45min minimum. At first you will feel EXHAUSTED but after 2 months you will improve and feel inspired. You can also buy yourself some low fat cookbooks. Personally I just use common sense - and I never use butter. You also need to be aware of portion control so you don't overeat - try having a glass of water or an apple before dinner. If someones eating steak if shouldn't be bigger than the palm of your hand and your vegetables should be larger in proportion to your meat and starchy side dishes. You never want to skip meals because this doesn't promote weight loss at all - it actually just slows your metabolism.

Now that I've tried to motivate you with proper eating and exercise, it's time to work on your emotional side. You need to learn to love yourself, take care of your body and develope a killer self esteem. Once you get your body in shape your mind will become stronger. I also strongly suggest to get a complete physical with blood workup, particularly testing your thyroid levels.

The bottomline is we all need food to live and starving yourself will only make your deprssion worse. You need to fight for yourself and make the right food and exercise choices so you can feel happier. If people on the show Biggest Loser can do it - so can you. I wish you the best of luck in making yourself healthy. Hugs Bella

Written by Edahn 138 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Weight loss doesn't have to be a horrible, ghastly mission. It can be fun and you can use your skills to interests to help you. Here's what I mean:

(1) You like cooking. You've associated cooking and food with weight GAIN and have come to hate it. But you can just as easily associate cooking and food with healthy eating and weight LOSS. You can search for recipes that are low in calorie and high in nutrition and make them personal by modifying them a bit and making them taste good.

Do you know a lot about nutrition now? When I finished college and entered law school, I was about 40-50 pounds overweight thanks for Burger King and a lack of pride in my body. I decided I would start running, and I started to learn about nutrition -- about calories, protein, carbs, fats, and how your body used them -- and I created a few dishes that I would eat instead of eating crap (chips, cookies, etc). I started running 3 times a week and lifting weight 3 times a week and it all worked. (Lifting weights will boost your metabolism so you burn more calories when resting.) I did that and most importantly, I exercised restraint over what I ate. When I reached my target weight I got a little more flexible to the point where now, I trust my body and am okay with a little weight loss and gain because I still exercise pretty often.

You can do the same thing. Create an exercise and eating schedule that is balanced and supportive of yourself. In the meantime you can read about exercise and dieting. You don't have to go EXTREME and get obsessed with your weight, since that would just be substituting one problem for another. Instead, just commit to a plan of exercise and eating that pushes you in the right direction, slowly but surely.

(2) You can form a new relationship with your body. You don't have to hate your body while you try and condition it. You can still be okay with the person that you are. If you don't ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT right now, fine. That'll happen over time. But for now, you can be okay with it, even if you're not so enthralled about all of it. Is there some part of your body that you absolutely love? Can the rest be okay for now while you work with it to condition it? Just ask yourself that question.

(3) Remember that you have lots of great qualities to offer and don't just see yourself as the sum of your FAULTS. You have a boyfriend now (finally, lol) and are becoming aware of yourself and your responses. You're also looking to understand those responses. What could be cooler? What could be sexier? Honestly, I think that quality is incredibly attractive. It shows intelligence, maturity, and depth.

These are all ways to start to change your perspective of the weight-loss/healthy body mission. I wouldn't be surprised, given your insight and creativity, if you had some of your own ideas on how to make the process more fun and less...suck (lol). You have lots to be proud of. Don't forget that.

~Edahn

Written by Clyde 136 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Very good posts, both of you!

It is vital to realize that food is important, and you have pictured that every single bit of food you have is hurting you and making you more depressed, when it is more the love of food and the feelings you are trying to abort when you overeat.

Best,

Clyde


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