let me start by saying i am 18 years old and have had this obsession since i was 14. ive seen several different therapists and counselors but nothing has helped. i also take lexapro.
now you might think im crazy or just want attention(everyone else does, but i want a baby. yes, i know im WAY too young and im still in school and babies are a very big responsability. a child is a human being, not just a something to play with and dress up. they cry, poop, and need food. they need you for everything. and it cost so much to raise one. i know im not ready for that. i just turned 18.
but for some reason, i feel like i need it. i envy pregnant women, teens, and the way they are living the life i want so badly. for some reason, i get upset after being near a little baby, toddler, pregnant women, or watching little kids play across the street. i get pulled over to the baby sections in stores and like to wish i was there getting something for my child. i have ghost pregnancies often(when you have symptoms of a pregnancy that isnt there), just about every month before i get my period. i look up things about pregnancy and children. i watch shows like 16 and pregnant, teen mom, birth day, i didnt know i was pregnant, make room for multiples, a baby story, etc.
im engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years and we are living on our own together and very much in love. but theres one thing that gets between us. my stupid, crazy obsession. he hates how im always upset and im always looking at the babies, children, and pregnant people who we see at the mall or wal mart. he says i have a baby radar. its like they all come out and follow me. like they are just trying to make it worse. he wants children but we are too young and dont get married till october.
i just dont know what to do. i want this to go away. i want to stop crying over someone elses children and life. i want to get better to save my relationship with my fiance. im tired of putting him under more un needed stress. what should i do?
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