Avatar Posted by kagen 48 days ago (Question)
Ok my friends, This is the second time typing this out so it's going to be quicker. Last few weeks, BAD. I was doing so good and now i'm doing shit. Really shitty. I had an incident for the first time in monthes with purging cut myself and yesterday. Lost my virginity in irresponsible sex. With a friend. I'm on birth control for my period but I mean, i feel like an ASS birthcontrol shouldn't be used so irresponsibly. My first time was supposed to be so special, but it wasn't it felt wrong and dirty and it keeps playing over in my mind. I just need someone to read this and respond. i really need to feel like someone anyone, even if it's just over the internet is listening to me and cares.


Answers

Written by JunieBeatrice 48 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am listening, and I care. I am sorry you have had such a bad few weeks. Life is cyclical you know, it goes in a circle with good times and horrible times and everything in between. I do not mean that to sound trite, but to give you some hope, THINGS DO IMPROVE, over time, life gets better. Only that is hard to see when one is at a low point and everything is going wrong and everything is getting messed up. But I want you to hear it.

Okay, so you purged, you cut and you had sex. Well, these things, are not the end of the world. It is not totally healthy but I think you know that. It sounds like you were really down on yourself, hence the cutting and purging and maybe a way to distract from that and to feel something that is supposed to feel good, you had sex.

Try not to beat yourself up over it. I am sure that is going to be hard particularly because you had an idea of what you wanted your first time to be and then it did not end up that way. I know you are not alone in that though.

I wonder if anything has happened recently to bring on the incidents of cutting and purging? Sometimes it is hard to pinpoint and sometimes you know. Only you can answer that but if you do know, try to take some time and unravel it and figure out what happened so you will know next time.

I want you to know you do not deserve any more pain from the cutting, your body deserves a little extra care right now. Take a bubble bath. Relax. Be nice to yourself. I know it is hard, but you may start to feel just a little better.

I hope things start looking up for you quickly. All my best, Junie

Written by helpinghand21234 48 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I second Junie's points. She's right it's not the end of the world, and people DO care, it's just that being impersonal these days is normal in a sense.

My advice is to trust your abilities. Like for example, you mentioned above many things that you are dissatisfied with. Well, if you don't like the way some things are going and/or know that they are wrong, then change them or else you'll spend even more time in those bad conditions. Please don't cut yourself or purge because you don't deserve that. You deserve to be healthy and happy.

Be strong, and make changes in your life so that you can wake up with a smile every morning (or most mornings) =]

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Please dont knock yourself too harshly over this. We all make mistakes--believe me. I wish that we all did not do so, but it does happen, and we do care.

Find ways to trust your instincts...if it feels wrong, try not to do it. Find ways to do other things instead of cutting and sex, the latter which can lead to things you may not want at this stage in your life.

Best,

Clyde


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