i dont want to be like this but the feelings dont stop they get worse it is the reason my wife left me and my kids dont respect me
i cant enjoy any thing any more icant watch tv go out with my frinds they tell me i bring them down , i do want a real life but at this age i dont think there is hope for me , i been this way as long as i can remember my wife helped me alot and got me through a lot of bad times but she left me because she got tired of all the bs , now i have no one and dont want to live anymore


Answers


bella
1703 days ago
I'm very relieved that you can't kill yourself. Have you ever recieved treatment from a doctor for this - medication or therapy?? How long has your wife been gone and do you think she'll come back if she knows you're getting help? I want you to know there is hope, you just need to reach out. Try to be patient. Do you have a job? I'll be on for a while so we can talk more. Hang in there - okay? :)



rocko824
1703 days ago
i do have a good job and two great kids that are both grown i should have alot to live for i just get so low sometimes and dont know why or how it doesnt thak much to get me down and then i start sinking my wife would help me most of the time when she could i just want to be a real person and not this shell waiting on death to come thank you for your help.



bella
1703 days ago
Have you received treatment with medication or therapy. Do you think you and your wife can work this out. I think you should tell your doctor how you're feeling. Do you have any idea why you feel depressed - sometimes there doesn't need to be a good reason. 45 isn't too old to improve your life. We're happy to talk to you here.



rocko824
1703 days ago
thank you



pizzadelia
1703 days ago
rocko824

i am your age.i understand how you feel.if i were in your situation,id probably feel the same way.truth is i have been there.in august of 2000.its a long story,but the short version is that had i taken my life successfully,i would not have come to know what was on this side of that time period.ie,2000-2010.and yes there have continued to be very very broken,tragic moments sinse then,but as i peer back,there have also been treasures.like me being able to comfort another,dragging friends/family outside to look at a sunset,a puppy.seeing my sons become men.finding good aspects of me.writing poetry.listening to whats going on with my sons.and believe me your kids could in fact be bitter...a while.maybe quite some time.but then they will grow up and veiw things with wiser eyes.while you wait for that to happen,use all that energy to feel well,keep comments about their mom,between you and one trusted person.in this way,even if mom gives negative feedback about you,you will have risen above that,saying to the kids your mom loves you,and i love you.but whatever problems me and your mom have dont affect you and i.i only wish to discuss whats going on in your life,and what you are about.if you refuse to engage in negativity towards their mom,pull your work life together,and find some activities to join,you will see that at the end of the day,you always will have you.love you,take care of your needs,and strive to be constructive and positive.it may take time to see how these things transform the painful impact,but push on,and all the peices will follow.positive action breeds positive kama.whether in thought or in deed.i guarantee .in the larger picture,you will at some point have sown posivity:karmically,or negativity.you can only count on you.so speak lovingly to yourself, and do the best you can.seek professional help if you think you need it.bless you



rocko824
1703 days ago
thank you



bella
1703 days ago
How long ago did your wife leave Rocko? I know this is very hard to talk about, but it might make you feel better to let your pain out. I think that depression is sometimes internalized anger. I hope it will get better for you and there's still more living you need to do, so don't lose hope - okay?



rocko824
1703 days ago
only a few months ago she said she still wanted to be my frined and help me but i know shes only trying to be nice , she is a good person , but she could not deal with my depression any longer , today was the worse day i woke knowing it was going to be bad , i just dont understand why or how i know i try to stop it but nothing i do helps i cant afford prof. help and dont want to get hooked on pills , not every day is this bad i just try to make it through till it passes



bella
1703 days ago
Hi Rocko,

sometimes depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance (lack of seratonin) and the medication helps to balance those chemicals. The pills aren't addictive but you do need to withdraw slowly with some of them. Is there a free clinic you could go to. You mentioned you have a good job - I guess you don't have medical coverage. There are good self help techniques but sometimes they're not enough. I'm glad your wife is still willing to help you, but I know you want to be more than just a friend - right? If you give medication a chance, you might be surprised how much better you'll feel. You know mental illness in my opinion, is just like any other illness - if you had diabetes you would get it treated, so the same goes for mental illness. It seems like you've been suffering a while and I think you deserve to feel better. I hope you will somehow get some help.