I guess im reaching out for help here. I have in the passed six months reached out over and over and really still gotten nowhere. I am a man (well maybe that is going to far considering) and i am 28 years old. I have a fiance and a 5 month old daughter.
I have had and lost almost 10 jobs in the last 2 years. Sober, high, it doesn't matter. I have gotten to the point where i cannot figure out what is wrong with me. I look hard for jobs, i interview well, i get hired and then two weeks later IM fired.
I am on medication but I can tell you that after once again getting hired and then brushed off this week that i was reduced to a hyperventilating pile of mush and could only seem to remark "oh my God".
Every other though I think is about suicide. The problem is that I feel like I can't do it to my beautiful daughter- But at the same time i feel like my daughter and fiance' would be better off without me. We already lost our home and had to move in with her family. My family won't help us AT ALL.
I just don't know what to do. If i go to the psych ward im afraid it will cause problems and they will take our child. If I lost her, There would be nothing left to stop me. It would not be long before i disapeared.
I go to these employers, tell them Ill do anything to take care of my daughter, show up when Im supposed to, and most times do the job well. I have bad teeth and am not very attractive. It seems like it doesn't matter what i say or do or how hard I work, within' a month they are letting me go.
With each one more job I lose or don't get or get lead on about my mental health and confidence reduce just a little more. I feel like I am nothing and noone because no matter how hard I try I cannot support my family.
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