I want to kill myself. What is the easiest way to do that? I just can't take it anymore. Life is pointless for me. But I am not sure how to die. To cut my veins or to take too much drugs... Why I want to die? Well, I am a creative person and I've always wanted to be a designer or an illustrator. I can draw very good. But my parents think that this is a bad job, and didn't let me go to the designer program. They want me to be a nurse, because they think this is the best job in the world. I hate everything related to medicine and I've never wanted to be a nurse. They were yelling at me, not talking to me, hurting me with words when I told them that I don't want to be a nurse. So my parents forced me to go to the practical nursing program. It's week five of my studying and I hate this program. It's not interesting and difficult for me! I feel so depressed. I don't want to be a nurse. I tried to talk about it with my parents but they just didn't listen to me. They said I wouldn't be their daughter if I quit this nursing program. So, I just don't know what to do... Now I just want to die. Every day I feel worse and worse. I can't study on this program anymore. Please tell me how should I kill myself? I really need a help!


Answers


bella
1716 days ago
I'm very sorry you feel so desperate, but I won't tell you how to kill yourself - that would be so wrong. I lost my brother to suicide, so I'm vehemently against it. You're young and you won't be under your parents control forever, so I want you to see beyond this point, where you are right now. I want you to live and know there's a future for you. If you're in danger, I want you to go to your nearest emergency room or call 1-800-SUICIDE. I'm also going to give you a very compassionate website to look at. Is there another more diplomatic family member who could convince your parents you hate the nursing idea? You CAN work this out, so don't do anything drastic - promise me this!! The most important thing to remember is to be patient, don't react and keep yourself safe. Your parents won't dominate your life forever, trust me. Keep writing here and go ahead and rant - get your frustrations out but don't punish yourself. Here is the link:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/



arovolturi1990
1714 days ago
Thank you very much for your support, Bella! Yes, I do feel a little better. And thank you for this website, I've got some good advises. But still I am so sad because of this nursing course. I don't have anybody in my family who can help me. I tried to talk to my grand mother about this problem, but she just didn't listen to me. She said that I am stupid and I have no chose but to study on the nursing course. My best friend is supporting me, but I don't have much time to see her because I have too much homework. That's why I couldn't reply faster. Next week I have two tests and a presentation. And it's all driving me crazy! I still don't really know what should I do.

I am sorry you lost your brother to suicide. I lost my cousin to suicide. He shoot his head off with a gun. He lived in America and I live in Canada. In Canada guns are not allowed, so I can't shoot myself there.



Fpsych
1716 days ago
Good advice from Bella,

I want to add that after your finished your nursing, those skills might come in handy. When you move out of the family home, you will need to find employment to be able to have your own apartment and take care of yourself. While your doing this, you can explore other courses in design. I have had friends who studied design, and you often have to pay for a lot of materials. Being qualified as a nurse means that you will be able to find work easily and pay for any design materials that you will need when you do your design course.

Most people have studied more than one course in their lifetime. It might seem to be a waste to you now, to be doing nursing, you probably feel that you will be too old to study design when your finished. But you won't. It is also difficult to find work as a designer and having nursing as a background will ensure that if you don't find work as a design assistant or designer you can always fall back on your nursing.



arovolturi1990
1714 days ago
Thank you for your advise Fpsych, but I don't think I have enough stamina to finish this nursing course. Perhaps, I would just die before this course ends. Also, I don't even want to work as a nurse. It's not for me...



hopefulllyitworks9
782 days ago
She is lucky has has a family..this is a joke..get over it



Bear890
1716 days ago
Hi arovolturi1990,

I'm sorry that you are in so much pain and distress. I think you are depressed and should see your doctor. It's not easy to die, a suicide attempt is one of the most distressing things a person can go through. The sufferer is never the same and neither is the family. Get help from your doctor. Tell your parents how you are feeling. Demand that they listen. Tell them you wanted to die as you are not allowed to follow your heart. They should let you quit and take the time out that you need to recover. Fpsych gave great advice about the benefits of staying on, but I know that a person can't pass exams if they are suicidal, so quitting is not always the losers option, it may be an appropriate option.



arovolturi1990
1714 days ago
Thank you for your advises, Bear890, but I unfortunately, I don't have any doctor. And I've talk to my parents so much time! They are very strict! Honestly, they are not the best parents. My parents never understand me. When I was a child my father even used to hit me. I cried... It was very painful and I will never forget about that. Even a year ago my father tried to hit me, but I didn't let him too. So, I think there will never be an understanding between me and my parents.



bella
1715 days ago
How are you doing today. I hope a little better.



sal goode
1715 days ago
Have you and your parents considered going to counseling together, A.S.A.P? A good counselor can help you three to figure things out and I highly recommend that you and your parents commit to getting this resolved immediately.

God bless you and your family and give you peace!



bella
1714 days ago
Would you mind letting us know, if you're okay - I was very concerned about you after reading your post. I hope you're feeling a little better.



arovolturi1990
1714 days ago
Thank you so much everyone! I really value your advises and support!



bella
1714 days ago
You're welcome - happy to know you're okay. I hope you're feeling a little better. I wanted to say Fpsych made a good point about staying with nursing and then you could still take design/illustration later. Nursing is a stable career to have under your belt. I was wondering if there's any other career like physiotherapy or pharmacist, that would appeal to you?



Kiya
1713 days ago
Parents are so damaging when they apply their ego needs towards their children. I hope you follow your own desired path one day and make your parents respect your own destiny. You are here on this planet to live your own life, not to live through their needs/wants/expectations.

I am an artist too and I know what a creative soul is capable of. Here is a good web site to see other peoples creativity and if you so desire... post your own art work for others to see.

http://www.deviantart.com/



arovolturi1990
1712 days ago
Thank you for your kind words! I feel so much better. It's so nice to find a person who understands me. So horrible, when no one in my family respects my choices and don't understand me. I have so much homework because of this nursing course that I don't have much time to draw. I really miss drawing! Sometimes I want to forget anything and just draw... I have so many ideas! And thank you for this website! I will post my drawings for sure! Could you please give me your email? I want to talk to you more. I just don't know any artists or people who loves drawing just like me. And I would love to see your art work.



crzy4real
1591 days ago
all your answers are so judgmental. we don't want your kind words obviously, or we would contact suicide prevention. sometimes people are just so messed up the need to be gone..i happen to be one of them. i'm bi-polar with no insurance, no money for meds, no friends no family and can barely stand to leave my house. no one would even notice if i disappeared.



Ally1
1584 days ago
People like us are self centered and selfish. We blame everyone and everything around us for our problems, ie "my parents force/d me to..." "so my life is crap and hard and uncomfortable and because it's uncomfortable I don't want to live any more, I'm lazy and everything is too hard" boo hoo. Question is, is this our personality or is it in fact caused by faulty wiring/ chemicals that are out of our control and iif so are we trying to kill ourself because we realise that it is the only way to take control of the problem...the only thing that is certain and not confusing.



Ally1
1584 days ago
I go to this site every time I feel like this- Suicide: Read This First (it is the first result whenever "I want to die" or "kill me" are searched via google.

It helps me survive another day because it reminds me that anyone is capable of reaching this point...it is when too many bad things weigh down on us at once, when we're tired and just need a break.

The way I see it, you want to die anyway so why not just do what you want to do, or at least take yourself away from the situation for a year. If it makes it easier, promise yourself you will kill yourself in 1 year, 3 years or what ever. So now you know you only have x amount of time to live, knowing that you will die soon do what you want to do with the little time you have left.

What would you do if you only had 60 days to live? 1 year to live? 3 years to live? Or even 10 if you please?

If your plan is just to kill yourself now, what have you got to loose by quitting nursing, moving away from your parents, supporting yourself to study, maybe start with a short online graphic design course? What have you got to loose?

You may hurt many people doing this but it could not compare to the pain they would endure if your departure were permanent.

Take a short break not a permanent one. As said before, what have u got to loose. Take it easy for a while if you like, travel (visit places that will give u inspiration when u do pursue your creative dreams), or even better volunteer. Volunteering is not only a great way to help yourslf, but it will make a huge difference in the lives of those you help. You could look at it this way- you don't want your life anymore so give it to others who need it, the elderly, the needy children or even animals...

Hope that makes sense.



Ally1
1584 days ago
And everyone else, what you are saying is helpful and logical advice that will help her in the long run but the fog that surrounds her does not let her see past her hand. That coupled with youth does not allow her to survive past the thoughts of death.



DyingInside
1571 days ago
O my God !!! I'm in the same situation .... the exact same one !!!

but my parents want me to be a doctor =(

i just graduated from high school and they are telling me the exact same thing ... and i live in the other side of the world

I WILL kill myself soon my life is a a very sad story ... too bad i won't be able to continue the book i'm writing about my life

God this is hell ... i feel you sister God knows i do ...

how are you doing now ???

Bless your heart sweetie and may God make things easier for you and me .

kisses



goldyarts
1469 days ago
my parent wanted me to be a doctor well my ant did i dicited to move back tu usa to go to school here when i was 15 -14 i came here with my mother and lived with her un till i had to leav her and i lived at sevreal old friends of my older brother it was lucky there were some people that wernt even my family that realy hellped me become who i want to be im also an artis 3 year in fine arts school part is great i love to make art i makes me happy but im sooooooooo sad i want to kill my self if im not doing it but i cant do it all the time thanks to u ill right alot my tears are nearly dried now. well wat im geting at i gess is fuck your parents seracly if they are sujesting not exepting u u should abandin them besides you can alwas remmember them see i left my family becuse if i beter my self i can beter them pasing an idea by creating a focal point your self we are more important then doctor i make art that will influence someone people hundreds of years from now they will cary you



goldyarts
1469 days ago
if your sad becus you cant make art thats how i felt when i was younger i choked my self to sleep evryday i never told that to anyone thats when i had to leave i left my ant drothers sister behind in puerto rico i was so safe there but no one even aloud me to have my oun drawings they just would throu them away i would hid them in a hole in thw chicken coop out back then , then i pland to go live with my mother wich i knew she was going to still go back in to drugs i left evryone i loved to become an artist pluse its not that bad if u can stand being alone for long time it gets beter im 21 now and i becom 500 times beter evry day u r not sad diprest nore crazy for wanting to kill your selff its your lack of expresing your self people like use ned to creat new ideas new lifes to speak to people for use if not wer alone an dead already so pleas dont die twice u can still fix wat you parent fucked up and killed pleas become who you r not just for you but life trees and the squerls tha



goldyarts
1469 days ago
amd for the squerls that falow peopl in the morning and the run up a tree lol even i you think its to late its not there were meany artist that were not artis the first hafe of there lifes like divinci he was an inventer balev me im not the only one that makes mony pluse if i can make it as an artist u can befenetly make it as a disiner thay make wayyyy more mony i know this one guy that works for sevral compinys like nike and he only went to art school 4 2 years lol if it wasent for wanting to become a cureator i would live in a barn and make art like a maneac balive me if u chose to become an artist it will help u feel alot beter



goldyarts
1469 days ago
talk to your techers and go to the neareast art school ask for help they will understand andkeep trieing they need to see your love for art ples do this set up meding with them to help you gid you to a beter portfolio balive me you ave lotts of things to explore in art i love it al with out it id be dead go to art galleries and meuseums ask peo'le for good art schools near you i think you should start makeing your oun wourld you can still be an artist one big thing draw like 500 times more and doble it evry month and i ashour u youll get all or most of school payed for make 100 fast draings of things in your room not mor then 5 min drawings detal is not importent its the idea of it



goldyarts
1469 days ago
baleve me there are worst perents for inctence my mother sold moe to a drug lord for a 8 ball of crack i had to sell drugs for him it was my 9th grad it was bad i got away and lived with sevreal friends bad thing about that i have had so much probloms with finacal aid this year becus i have no gardiean i had nothing now i have a bag of close and a shit lode of art suplies lol i work as a cook ocasinaly but not this simester im only doing art since drugs finaly got my fother killed i have to make lots of art to expres my self i fell like a vesal full of lonlynes and eptynes u need to fill that up with love and pasion do wat is best 4 you not anyone elsa



renee
1440 days ago
I am extreamly depressed my self.I also cut& burn. I want to die as well but don't know how to achieve this I have been tring for many years. It's all because I have been molested from the time I was 4 yrs. old I am now 39 yrs.old. Every man that I have ever been with has abused me serisoly bad in all ways. one even rapped me & I didn'tturn him in untill yesterday & this happened inthe bigining of March. I didn't do it till now because I was afraid. Now I wish someone could tell me how to kill myself so I could just get my life done & over with



twentyone
1372 days ago
hello there. i am 38. when i was 21 i attempted suicide - not because i particularly wanted to die - but because i didnt want to live - i know now the pain was creater than my coping skills. I was kinda opposite of you - my parents would let me go to agricultural college or theatre school or beauty school or anything i had interests in - they wanted me to work without a college education and forced me into working in an office at 16 - ı hate it and was not fully equiped for adult life . anyhow as i hit 20 i got the boyfrıend and went on holiday with him - dad freaks out - throws me out HEAVEN FORBİD İ WAS SLEEPİNG WITH A BOY!!! - never talked me me again neither did mum - ı was onlyu 20 and a young 20 year old at that - then me and boy never got on and i had nowhere and noone to turn to *- and suicide was my get out clause

anyhow - it was obviously an unsuccessful attempt and here i am -im 38 and i cant believe all the wonderful exciting things ive done in my life since i was 21 - ı turned my lıfe around - no thanks to the parents

i went to sport college - then 3 years beauty school then 4 years nurse training - it was a struggle but least i gained my independence

parents are so cruel in inflicted their ideals on their children - they should look at their childrens dreams and encourage them - not mould them to their ideals to justify how they live their live

trust me you wıll escape you paretns and you wıll gain freedom and you wıll never ever look back - things WILL change - although i know hard for you right now *

cherish the hard times - they make you stronger - meanwhıle TALK TAKlk talk to as many people as you can - dont hide away and let your feelings fester

you have the strength - you have more strength than you possibly can imagine


Hi

it's clear that ur problem is not that big so relax and stop thinking about committing suicide... but still i have a plan..

Go to a psychiatrist(who is a good doctor) and tell him about your problem, and that u became depressed and that u want to die... make sure to be honest with ur doctor coz he will help you deal with ur parents...now let the doctor call your parents and arrange a meeting with them where he can discuss your problem with them (you're not supposed to be there with ur parents).. ur supposed to be depressed and sad sitting at home and not knowing that your parents are meeting ur doctor.... the doctor's job is to convince your parents that they have to let you choose what u love to do (not nursing definitely :P) or else your condition will get worse... etc

to make it simple.. act like ur psychologically sick.. and u won't be cured unless ur parents do what u want...

believe me it will work, but your doctor should be so cooperative... and i hope everything turns out the way u want :)

i think all the one's who replied before showed lots of empathy and that's nice and i hope it helps.. but to be honest with u ur problem has only 1 solution.. u have to study what u love (drawing.. etc).. no empathy.. ur a tough girl.. think think think and if my way didn't work, think of other options.. suicide is admitting that u failed.. and from ur words i saw a strong and ambitious girl.. this world will lose your creativity if ur dead... think before u act.

goodluck girl :)