Ok. Im 18. Just finished my freshman year in college and basically failed all my courses, both semesters. I’m major in business management and I had to take economics 100 and it was really hard. I passed two english courses because I was friends with the teachers. I honestly felt I should of failed those courses also, I couldn’t write a paper to save my life. I also passed a one credit course about wellness because it was easy. I’m lazy, I try exercising, hate it! I want to join the military but it’s not for the weak minded. I really just want to start my career. But I’m not interested in anything, not social work, not cleaning, not business, not engineering, not math, science reading or writing. CAN ANYONE SUGGEST ANY UNKNOWN CAREERS I COULD PURSUE? I tried talking to my parents about community college but they yell at me and my mom is abusive, meaning she slap me cause I failed. They pushed me into college after I graduated, even though it’s not for me. Now I have no choice. I’m spoiled and dependent on my parents. They were stricted. They never let me out the house, and never pushed me to do anything growin up, then told me to go to college. I’m very sensitive, I’m shy, have no friends and I can’t stand up for myself. I realized in college, I’m not intelligent at all. I went for my license failed the written test because I was TOO BORED of studying for it. My mother always been very VERBAL abusive towards me. She never really assaulted me, but she always been a very mean lady by the things she say. It just made me hate her and now I could never speak up to her or anyone. My mom never taught me to cook, clean or do my hair growing up. Lately she’s been getting worse. Always sayin stuff like “you wasted all my money” “you don’t do sh**” and “I can’t wait for you to get out” I know she right but I don’t wanna hear her say it, all I want is out but I have no where to go. My other family, it just too much to take in an extra member and all my grandparents past away. It sounds like excuses but I really feel like I can’t do anything. I know I’m a loser and going nowhere fast, except into debt. Not cause my mom says it, but I realized my own actions. It depresses me. I’m not suicidal or anything I just need some guidance. I just need a suggestion on what I should or need to do. As of right now I’m working as a cash register. I hate working with customers. They always complain. I mean I thought I was a complainer, but customers are even worse. Next month I go back to college, just to waste another 20,000. On the bright side, I do think I’m pretty and my only friend is my boyfriend. I love him, but he’s leaving for the navy soon… So I guess I’m back to the basics. All I need is something I’m interested in, but don’t know how to find it. This semester I’m going to try to seek for help for school work, but I’m just not interested in it. On top of me having very low confidence in myself on the ability to do anything, I’m not use to change. College was a big change, but all I did was go to class and stay in my dorm. So once again can anyone please give me a suggestion? Please.


Answers


Edahn
1497 days ago
First off, you're not a loser and what you're experiencing is actually pretty normal. In my first semester of college I got a C, and I was a straight A student prior to that. I managed to turn it around the next semester, and by my third semester (technically, it was a "quarter") I was pulling As. I graduated magna cum laude from a top university, although there were many times I felt like an idiot. I actually think it's not the worst thing in the world to feel dumb because it forces you to improve.

The issue now, as I see it, is whether you're going to look at this as something you're being forced into and focus on all the bad things going on, all the things you're missing, and all the challenges you face, or whether you're going to look at this as the most amazing opportunity of your life. Let me explain briefly, since I know your attention span is still developing. ;)

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You will never have a chance to just focus on your mind and not have to worry about anything else. When you graduate, you will have to find a job, and then you'll start wondering how you can avoid working and go back to learning. College is a chance to grow your mind, and you can grow it any way you want. Stop looking at it like it's a chore; that's childish and it's time you moved on from that. Start looking at it like a golden opportunity. What do you want to learn about? What do you want to be able to discuss with your friends? What do you want to be able to help people with? What do you want to be able to talk about with coworkers?

I chose psychology because I am obsessed with understanding people and myself. I find nothing more fascinating, though I also took classes in religion, in philosophy, in ancient history (to investigate a theory I had about aliens and ancient monuments back in the day), in astrophysics (I like learning about stars) and other classes. I wish I could go back and do a double-major in communications, but that opportunity is gone for now.

It's time you step up and start asking what kind of person you want to be. Make some decisions about what you want to learn about--what sounds interesting to you--and take classes in that field. If you find something interesting, major in it and look into careers in that field. It's okay if you don't know right away, but you need to start kicking ass in school. Start putting in a LOT more time, even if it means cutting time out of other things, even your relationship. School needs to be your focus now, because school will help you grow as a person. It might seem like a lot of work, AND IT IS, but it's something you have to do if you want to really grow as a person and I can tell you do.

ES



Kerena
1497 days ago
you really just told me everything i needed to here. thanks this really just helped me realize alot.



bella
1497 days ago
I agree it's not uncommon to feel lost and have second thoughts about college choices. I also think the way you were raised isn't helping. The verbal abuse weakened your self esteem and your mom didn't prepare you to handle real life.

I think you should speak with some career counselors to narrow down, what field of study is good for you. What kind of job appeals to you? Learn how to cook, so when you're one day on your own, you'll save money cooking your own meals.

You don't like the way your mother treats you but you feel weak. Tap into your inner strength, so you can be independent from your mom. What are you passionate about - what realistic occupations do you admire? I agree learning to focus on your education is the best thing you can do. It's great you're pretty, but don't rely on this alone because we lose our looks eventually lol. Best of luck.



Kerena
1497 days ago
thanks. you hit the nail on the head. I know what my problems are, i just have no clue how to fix them. this semester i am planning on being open to a counselor i just have to wait and see.



Edahn
1497 days ago
Very well said, Bella.



Kerena
1497 days ago
im going to go into the semester with an open mind, but do might happen to know anything good counselors from connecticut



bella
1496 days ago
You can speak to the counselors at your school for emotional support. I also suggest speaking with an academic counselor. The first year I attended university, I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do. I wish I would have received academic counseling in high school.



Edahn
1496 days ago
Good luck, Kerena. Make us (and yourself) proud, okay?



MSCREE8TIVE
1496 days ago
Good luck Karena I read this through - how about a skill? If college doesn't work out this time, you can always cut hair, do nails, something you enjoy! Do you like the medical field? How about medical assisting? Computers - takes about 10 months to become an IT. There are many choices out there! You are so young! Try a few things. There is no such thing as failure. Only LESSONS LEARNED! So what if college isn't for you! That doesn't mean you are a failure! YOu are finding yourself now and that is a WONDERFUL THING! TRUST IN THE LORD TOO. THAT WILL HELP. LET HIM GUIDE YOU. but please don't feel like a failure. You are trying and doing something about it which is a lot more than a lot of other people do!



MSCREE8TIVE
1496 days ago
and if you want help, write me on here. i see your parents are not very supportive. i had the same problem at your age because they can only guide with what they know. don't blame them, just find your path. i am here if you want some guidance.



Kerena
947 days ago
sorry i'm late. wish i would of knew this over 500 days ago, but everything is better now. Cant believe how much life has change in two years, but I found out what I wanted to be and should have a degree next year. Things are better with my parents, money-wise, because i support myself. I have accepted that me and their personalities just won't ever get along. And i think i'm okay with that.



dhorani
1496 days ago
Hi I first would like to point out that you are by no means a loser because anyone who can recognize their faults and seek help, in the end, turns out to be the winner, thats a promise. With regards to college, college is a very big commitment and you have to decide whether this is a commitment you would like to pursue even when it gets tough or do you want to have odd jobs with no real direction? I used to be like you, I had parents that were not influencing when it came to school, verbally abusive and no direction was ever guided for me. Where I changed was when I was working dead end jobs, didn't really have any friends and could not depend on my parents. I had to go out there and use my best skills. My best skill is communication and I later found out that psychology was my direction. I went ahead and I am very successful now. I am still a student but I'm on my way to graduate school soon. The best decision I ever made was to replace negative with positive and give it everything I have. If you are struggling with school, ask questions, take all the time you need to seek assistance. Teachers are paid to help you succeed, use them to your benefit. The reason you are so bored is because you have not found anything to put spark in your life. Sit with yourself for a while and think to your self ask "what do I want out of life?" I promise you'll find the answer and when you do, go out and get it. Good luck.



Kerena
947 days ago
this is exactly what i needed to do. as soon as i got tired of how things were going, i realized i needed to come out of that depression. i found out what i wanted to be and is pursuing it now. i'll have my degree next year.



bella
1494 days ago
Wow Kerena - you have many people here rooting for you...that's so nice!!



Kerena
947 days ago
wow cant believe i'm so late but every things better now. found out i love accounting, and will be getting a degree next year.