This is going to be kind of long but thank you very much if you took time reading it.

I am a 13 year old girl. I am currently in middle school. I always feel so depressed and worried. I feel anti social at school because i only have 2 friends that i always talk to. They usually get bored with me because i don't say much. I never really have the courage to talk to anyone else besides them unless i have to. I never participate in class like raising my hand to talk. I always know the answer but i don't have the courage to raise my hands. I am very ugly. I have really pale skin and pimples on my forehead. People always stare at me and it makes me so uncomfortable. Everywhere, I go people stare at me. i only have 2 friends. I've never had a perfect day in my life. I have very low self esteem even though no one said that i'm ugly or anything. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want to be like other girls, having fun with friends and spontaneous not worried about every single thing and how i look. My mom works a lot and constantly I only see her for 2 or even 2 hour every night before i go to sleep. She goes to work at 9 am and comes home at 9 pm. My dad is 56 and he has to stay at home to watch my 3 year old sister. My mom makes only $20,000 a year. My life is really unfair. I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. I am extremely shy and anti social. People always say that I'm so quiet and shy and I hate that. I just got a haircut because my other hair was too boring. My hair is very thick so all i could do is put it in a pony tail. With this haircut, i can straightened it and put it half up. I never put my hair down before except for the beginning of the school year. Im afraid because people might stare at me a lot. They always have this strange look when they stare at me. I cry a lot and im very sensitive. What can i do to enjoy life more? Please help me I don't want to be like this anymore.


Answers


Chemar
1043 days ago
Hi there

so sorry you are going through these hard times

I do want to encourage you not to think of yourself as ugly....most teens have pimples and there is nothing wrong with having a pale skin. Do you know that in olden times ladies used to try to get their skin to be paler! It has only been recently that the tanned skin fad emerged.

It really seems to me that your self consciousness may make you think people are staring. It is great that you got a haircut that you like. You can also get some of those skin care products to cover the pimples when you are out. The best way to look good is to make the most of what you have rather than trying to look like other people.

I think that if you focus on just being yourself and not thinking low of yourself, you will gain more confidence. Don't worry so much about what other people may think.

Do you have any things that you enjoy doing? Sometimes exploring your talents can help you discover things about yourself and that helps with confidence too. You could get involved with others who share those and make new friends.

Remember that by working hard at school and getting good grades, you can make a better future for yourself. Many people are struggling with money at present and I know it must be hard with your mom working those long hours for not much pay, but let her know you are thankful and proud of her for what she does to support your family.

You really can make life better but step one is to remember that you are a unique and special person. When you start thinking better of yourself, your personality will become brighter and more attractive to others. Remember too that some of the world's most successful people had very hard childhoods. But they refused to allow their lives to be consumed with negativity. Try to be a positive person and be determined to make the best of your life. You will be amazed at the difference it will make!



bella
1043 days ago
Very good advice from Chemar. I also had low self confidence and was very shy at your age too. I wish I had someone to talk to and give me wise advice. As you get older this will improve. I agree with Chemar - try to focus on your best assets and don't worry too much. This is actually a great time in your life and I regret missing out on the fun of those days.

First thing you should do is get an appt. with a dermatologist - the over the counter creams aren't strong enough for serious acne. Wash twice a day with an antibacterial wash like Tersaseptic - its not a fancy soap but it works well. Don't pick at the pimples and learn how to use a cover stick. Foundations should be non-comedogenic...meaning they won't make the acne worse. Avoid touching your face during the day and change your pillow case often.

Self esteem is a big problem for most young women and I think most of it can be from the unnatural portrayal of beauty in the media. All of these models go through hours of hair / makeup, then the pics are put through photo editing where they can erase imperfections, alter eye color, widen the eyes and literally change the image. Even the models don't look like these pics when they wake up. The moral of this pep talk is - don't compare yourself to these standards, because they're not reality. Here's is a good website that explains unnatural beauty: click on 'Evolution of beauty'.

http://www.dove.ca/en/Tips-Topics-And-Tools/Videos/



TruthHurts - LiesKill
1042 days ago
In a lifetime. most people will only have one good friend and if they are lucky they will have two. you are set on your friends. Dont put yourself down because you dont talk to a lot of people. Having two good friends is lucky girl. All them other people out there are just faking to be friends. Look at yourself in the mirror and think what are the things you like about yourself. Im sure people tell you that you are beautiful and amazing person. so listen to them. Pimples are normal, your young and even older people get pimples. Pimples wont stop you from living your life or looking pretty. be brave one day and just rasie your hand, raiseing your handing isnt as bad as it seems. I use to be nervous to raise my hand in class as well. people stare at you because they want to get to know you. take a chance but slowly and try to talk to some others. sit with them at lunch. you dont need to worry about your parents. they are doing what they need to do, so focus on you not them. you are you so be you. every one has there own beauty. dont try to be someone else only be you because you are an amazing person. Find something you and your friends both like to do and you will have more to talk about.