I've become depressed over the past couple years, basically off and on. Lately though, its never ending. I have no friends. I'm short tempered with everyone I know, and I can't help myself with that.. I'm isolating myself from everyone.
When I look ahead to the future I literally see nothing to look forward to, I have no hope that things will eventually turn themselves around because life has proved to me time and time again that hope is useless to have.
I see other people enjoying their lives, enjoying their highschool years, and here I am a senior.. and all I have is regret. Should of's, could of's, but never did. I've isolated myself and created a world I hate. I hate myself and this life I live. I don't understand why i have to live this sad grim life and others get to live lives they love.
i was in therapy for awhile, but honestly.. it wasn't helping. I've become so depressed anymore that its hard to get out of bed, to eat, to do anything.
some days are worse than others. I've tried not to think about suicide but honestly, sometimes its hard not to.
I'm so lost and afraid of what I've become, but mostly I'm sad that I'm forced to live this life I hate.
How do I get past this?


Answers


bella
1972 days ago
Hi Lindzee,

we're not therapists or doctors here but you describe a more than moderate depression. When a person finds it hard to even get out of bed, then you should go to your doctor. You should also try a new therapist and tell your doctor to find one who treats young people. I know you can't see hope because of the depression, but you have to believe it's there.

The first thing I would recommend is that you don't compare your life to others. Even though others seem like they have great lives, they may have real problems that you're not aware of. Alot of people put on happy faces, but inside they're struggling. It's okay to have regrets about the last few years, as long as you can learn from them. What you don't want to do is, dwell on them and feel sorry for yourself. Since you don't like the way you're life is going, then you need to come up with a plan.

1. Go to your doctor and tell him/her how you're feeling. You may need some medicine to help you.

2. Get a journal and write down 10 or more things that you're grateful for. It could be very simple things like - a warm bed to sleep in, a good meal, hugs or a dog wagging it's tail. It may seem silly, but there are people who are stuggling to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. The reason I want you to do this , is so you can shift your mind out of the 'poor me stage'.

3. Start exercising - I know it may seem impossible at first when you have a hard time getting out of bed, but you have to force yourself. Exercising releases endorphins (natural high) and makes you feel more perky. If you make your body strong the mind will follow. Go for walks or put on a DVD and get moving. You don't need a fancy gym membership.

4. Eat healthy with lots of fruits and veggies. I would recommend a multi-vitamin and take a 3/6/9 fatty acid (good for the brain)supplement. Make sure you're getting 7 hrs. of sleep.

5. Be kind to yourself and others. Stop listening to the critical voice in your head and replace it with positive thoughts. Build up your self esteem and love yourself. You said you're short tempered with others. Did you know that we really do have a choice in how we react to people. If you're chearful, then people will want to be around you. Relaxation and deep breathing helps with anger.

6. Write down in your journal a plan of how you would like things to be different. Make the goals simple at first and attainable. At your age you should be thinking about what's after high school, so perhaps you should talk to a guidance counselor.

7. Hope is something you can have even when things aren't going well. You have the chance to make your future better so that you won't end up with more regrets.

I'm a mom and I've had alot of bad things happen over the years. No one goes through life without encountering bumps and pitfalls. Some say that you can't appreciate the good until you've experienced the bad, and I think that's true. Many people don't appreciate things until they lose them. Some people go their whole life unhappy for no good reason and then they get diagnosed with cancer. It is only then, that they will say "if only I could have another chance- they would be so grateful to have their lives back.

You need to believe that you are in the drivers seat of your life. Yes sometimes there are bumps and sharp turns, but you will navigate them much better if you get your mind and body healthy again. Give it a try and let me know. Don't get discouraged because it will take time. Best of luck.



Jude
1971 days ago
i used to feel like that and still do. my lifes falling apart socialy. i had to be homeschooled two years ago because it was so bad. I think you should fake a good mood and talk to someone. If your shy try to ignore it. Just turn it all around while you still can. Picture yourself in ten years. Do you wanna still be that way?



Clyde
1957 days ago
Great post Bella!

Best,

Clyde