Avatar Posted by BackATya17 217 days ago (Question)
I constantly find myself very depressed and talking to myself. When I talk to myself I say very hateful things. I call myself stupid and convince myself nobody likes me. I'm also extrememly anxious and am terrified of being abandoned.


Answers

Written by Edahn 217 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

There's a lot going on here. Too much to deal with in a single message exchange. You should really try and find a therapist in your area to find healthy ways to relate to this stuff.

I don't really know where you are with things and how much you've tried already, so it's hard to really give advice. You don't have to believe the things your mind feeds you. Just because you think it doesn't mean it's accurate. One of the things you can contemplate, and that a therapist can help you with, is how to be a friend to yourself, kind and gentle. That'll help you enormously in dealing with the negative self-talk as well as the depression and anxiety. It's worth thinking about. What does it look like to be a friend to yourself? What does it look like to have integrity? Who do you know that has it and how do they treat themselves? Carry themselves around others?

Written by Sally71487 216 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Therapist are good for some people but in all honesty sometimes you feel like its too much to deal with having to call or you will convince yourself that you will wait or maybe you will get better. Maybe you even feel that you don't really feel comfortable talking to a stranger face to face about your problems. That is why i came here. So many people are going through what you are going through. You are not alone, I always convinced myself that people were judging me and did not like me so i tried to be invisible and ended up being mute in high school. Found out later on all they noticed was that i was mute and thought i was full of myself for that. You need to find an activity to do that makes you feel positive about yourself. Something that makes you feel like you are doing something good. Volunteer work at hospitals or nursing homes is great. You feel like you are helping others and they show to you how much they appreciate you. When you talk to yourself you do it because you feel like you are your own best listener. Believe it or not, I care and i am a stranger so you wonder how people you know feel. First of all Nobody is stupid, and i bet you are not at all, you just act out at yourself because you have hit the level of negativity. Look at yourself in the mirror, scream that your beautiful and smart and a wonderful person over and over again, does not matter if you do not feel it, you will end up smiling. That is the first step. Now take a piece of paper and write down all the positive attributes of yourself, personality or physically. even if it is things you have done like opened a door for a elderly person. Don't write anything negative. Look at it. and don't you dare write one thing or say there is nothing to write, you can find a lot. The more you love yourself the more people will love you too. The kinder you are the kinder people are to you. Karma, Be happy, Be who you are inside, do what makes you happy and makes you smile. I hope this helped. *Sally

Written by Sally71487 216 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

**

Written by bellacutie 216 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I think you're right that your experiences have a lot to do with how you're feeling now. You were abused as child - which explains your lowered self esteem. You neads as a child weren't adequately met, which is why you have issues with abandonement now. It's also not surprising why you feel anxiety. I'm very sorry that you had a terrible childhood. The good news is that you can get help and get better. I think you need to go to your doctor and get a referal for a therapist who specializes in past childhood trauma.

You don't have to live forever with the wounds of a painful childhood. I hope that you get the help you need, so that you can leave all your troubles in the past where they belong. You don't want to leave it untreated, so that you end up making the same mistakes and history repeating itself. You shouldn't have to continue suffering for mistakes your parents made.

In the meantime be kind to yourself and don't listen to those critical voices in your head - because they are just the voices of your father repeating over and over in your mind. He was a sick man and you don't have to believe him.

Make sure you eat healthy, exercise and relax (meditation and deep breathing). If I were you I wouldn't drink alcohol since it can be hereditary in nature. Please get the help you need and take care.

Written by Clyde 211 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Oh yeah. Lots of people go through this kind of thing.

Learn to believe in yourself.

Best,

Clyde


Log in to answer or register here.