SORRY THIS IS A LOT TO READ! IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO READ IT THAT WILL BE GREAT BUT IF YOU DONT..... i understand. People already ignore me anyways... ): ): ):
I'm 14 years old and im going into my freshman year of highschool. (9th grade) I'v HATED school ever since i've entered my first year of middle school and ever since i've been miserable! It's not that i hate homework or math classes or stuff like that, it's just that im SUPPER shy, i cant make any friends and i feel like im alone in this world. No one likes me and i feel like a loser. It's NOT like im ugly or fat or really annoying and weird, It's just because im shy and i hate that about myself. I can't go up to someone and say: "Hey! What's up? What's your name? Wanna hang out some time?" Everytime i do i just embarrass myself.
I did have a friend that was very nice to me and i enjoyed her company and i loved hanging out with her everyday after school. We were REALLY close friends for about 6 moths. We did EVERYTHING together. Suddlenly one week she started ignoring me, started hanging out with other groups of friends and told me she didnt want to be my friend because i was too shy. So then she ditched me for popularity! This happened in 8th grade (not too long ago) and i started crying so hard. She was my only close friend and i felt like no one liked me anymore. Than people started calling me a awkward turtle. She started making rummors about me and started looking at me in the hallways gossiping to her friends how im so shy and that im a loner.
Now im scard to make friends because i dont want people ditching me for popularity or ditching me because im too shy. I have nightmares about highschool and how my friends are going to ditch me again for the same reason. Everytime i have thoes dreams it makes me want to not go to highschool even more.
SO... i took some advice from people on the internet on these answers and people told me to join a club and i would make friends very easily. So i tryed doing volleyball tryouts. Im not bad nor im i great at volley ball but i was mainly there to make friends.(volleyball tryouts are all day for 3 days) By the end of volleyball try outs everyone had made atleast 5 friends and i was still the person who was sitting in the corner alone cause i didnt have the gutts to talk to soemone. Plus i didnt even make it into the volleyball team which was even more depressing.
My parents have no idea how i feel and they think im crying because i didnt make the volleyball team but im actully crying because i didnt make a single friend while at volleyball tryouts. I really wanted to meet people so i could hang out with them on the first day of school but i failed that and now everyone there knows im a loner.
I feel like my life is over or feel like running away from home on the first day of school cause i just cant stand the thought of going to school and having no friends. My parents want me to see a therapist but i dont even think she'll understand how i feel. I just need help and advice.
PLEASE! I'm begging you! Your the only last source of help that i have right now!!!!!!!!!!