Avatar Posted by prabu901104 81 days ago (Question)
My life is a rubbish. I've failed everything. Failure is my name. People look me differently like I am from outer space. So I become Anti-Social. I am 18 years old. I avoid people as much as I could. Now, my family members started to scold me. they say "Act like a boy". And no one believes what I say. I don't think I have a problem, but these things make me think I have one. In my school, I am so aloof. No one wanted to talk to me and i don't want either.

What is happening to me?

I wish I wasn't born.

Sorry for my English. but I need an answer so badly!!!!!!


Answers

Written by bellacutie 81 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It's sounds like you're struggling with low self esteem. Let me ask you - would you say these bad things to someone else? I bet the answer is no - right? If it fair that we think very nasty thoughts to ourselves. What do your parents mean when they say "act like a boy"? You need to increase your self esteem and you also may be suffering from social anxiety. It's natural if you're not feeling good that others will pick up on that and aviod you. Is it possible for you to talk to counsellors at school? There is a reason we're all here on this earth so please don't wish you were never born. Get some help to increase your self esteem - best of luck. Bella

Written by Fpsy 81 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hey Prabu,

I'm sorry that you feel so isolated and unhappy. Do you avoid people because you don't like them or are you desperate to socialize with people but think others are evaluating you. The answers to those questions are important because they mean different problems and then different ways of helping the problem.

I don't know what your parents mean when they say "act like a boy" unless of course they have some preconceived ideas of what boys are suppose to be like.

Bella is right in that you might have a problem called social anxiety. The good thing is that there is plenty of stuff you can learn to get yourself back on track and out enjoying life and people.

I am going to put up a website about social anxiety, it has symptoms and good self help tips and how to manage it. Please have a good read of the website.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm

Bella's advice about seeing your school counsellor is a good one. They are trained to help you and are skilled at making you feel about yourself. You should check them out and go speak to them.

Written by smartstepper 80 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Prabu, your post is very moving. As I am not a psychologist by profession (I am a life coach) my approach is maybe a little different. I am going to suggest that you stop being sorry, especially for your English as it is excellent. Make a list of all the things in life the you appreciate about yourself, (starting with your language skills perhaps)and just slowly begin to see how many successes you already have I have posted some ideas on my blog for building self esteem that you might find useful, or at least realise that you are not alone in your feelings.

http://www.smartstepslifecoach.com/blog

Written by Semari 79 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Dear Prabu,

I answer your question because I recognize some things you say. Including insecurity of your English (English is not my motherstongue either). Your give a little description of your problem so I can't say what is going on in your life. I'm sorry for you that you have to struggle so hard.

You could have a personality disorder. I find myself a normal person, still I have a personality disorder too. To have a personality disorder does not mean there is something wrong with you. It just means you are different than average. Other people can think you are strange. Low self esteem can be a consequense of being different and not understood by others.

In your question one thing is obvious: your thoughts about yourself aren't helping you. People grow where their thoughts are going. In order to survive this crisis you need to become more and more selfaware. If you change your thoughts, your feelings will change as well. Start by noticing good things about yourself.

Start looking for supportive friends, people who take you with your strengths and weaknesses, try to do things that make you happy. Be happy while you do them. Refuse to believe that you are a failure. It is not true, you must know that somewhere inside you.

My biggest advise is not to struggle alone. We as people need each other. If you have a social anxiety you can get therapy to help you to heal. If you have a personality disorder it is more likely to try and live with it. Give yourself the help that you need. You're worth it!

I'm working on myself since the age of 14, I was misserable, unhappy, socialy on my own a lot, I was violent to myself. Now I'm 33, still working to become more open, selfaware and flexible. My fears are still there, they can be quite challenging, but I am a very happy and content person.

I wish you the best and know that in the moment you can find peace. In this moment right now all problems are gone.

I hope my answer gives you hope.

Written by Clyde 79 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It sounds like low self-esteem too. Your thoughts and feelings are most definitely making you worse, feel worse, and make you feel depressed.

It could be social anxiety, it could be depression. Do you have a school counselor you could check with? If not, you may want to see a therapist, as they can help you as well.

Best,

Clyde

Written by Storm 79 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Sounds like your depressed to me...... get treatment. Depression often makes one feel worthless.


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