Hi i am 15 years old and have had depression for 3 and a half years or so. I have been on and off medication and in and out of counseling. But recently i have been thinking. Is there more to me. I feel like i try and be sick all of the time. I know i used to hurt my self for attention. I was neglected as a child but every few days or weeks i will think something like the following " I should pretend i have a seizure. I will have to research it to see if doctors can tell if you have had one " so i went and researched it. Or something like this " I am going to get heaps of pain killers and anti depressants take the limit of each scatter some on the floor. Then eat some flour so when i go to the hospital for an overdose and have to get my stomach pumped it looks like i took heaps of pills" Seriously i think these sorts of things. I know that i do things for attention, my mother knows. But is it possible i have munchausen syndrome. I mean it sounds like i do. Every time i go to a counselor they will ask me " Do you really want to be well? " and of course my answer is always yes, and at those times i believe it is but what if subconsciously i want to be unwell? I just don't know what else to do... Please help me out. Oh and my latest thought was i am having my eyes checked tomorrow should i pretend i can't see properly so i get glasses. Thanks if you can help. Bye


Answers


Clyde
2165 days ago
I really don't know about the munchausen...to me, it would be more someone trying to make you sick for attention, but you would actually "be" sick, not doing stuff to "pretend" to be sick.

I would check with a therapist again, and let them know what you told us. You have to be extra super careful with what you are doing, you can really accidentally do something.

You sound like you are doubting yourself on everything you do, that is part of the reason I think seeing another (or the same) therapist would be good.

Best,

Clyde



Loretta
2163 days ago
It sounds a bit like Munchausen's and it may actually be it, but what really matters is your reason for needing attention. Your need is so great that you consider rather drastic steps to get it. Is this because all other means of getting attention have failed?

At 15 years its very normal to want and need attention and when you feel you need more, thats likely when you start considering these steps.

You should see your therapist again and show him/her your letter here, you've expressed your emotions and doubts very well in the letter. Maybe your therapist can do some family therapy with your mom/parents/siblings to help address the cause and need for attention in a more constructive and satisfying way.

You have excellent insight into yourself, use it in therapy to turn these symptoms around.

best of luck!!

Loretta



apoptosis
2079 days ago
Yes it does sound a little like you have a factitious disorder, if not Munchausen's. Those feelings often start young. I have them too and I have trouble controlling them. You need to tell your therapist about it, and don't be ashamed of your feelings. You didn't ask to have them and you're not alone. There's a support group for factitious disorders and Munchausen's on Yahoo Groups - Cravin4Care. You can Google it to find it.