Avatar Posted by mylifetolive 103 days ago (Question)
Hi. I had posted 7 days ago about me getting scared about possible schizophrenia or schizotypal tendancies... something along those lines.

Well... I also have an eating disorder. So far all I've eaten today is a cheese quesadilla from Taco Bell, couldn't stand having it in my stomach so I purged it. I have issues to say the least.

In addition to that, today I took 12 Extra Strength Pain Reliever pills at once. My entire body was aching for more... I can't really explain it... just that all of me... except for a tiny voice in my head, was screaming at me to just take the pills, to keel over and die.

I took those pills... gathered up enough strength to put the rest back into the bottle, and then started to scratch myself with a pair of scissors.

I wake up every morning hating who I am and who I am becoming. I have taken various depression tests, I am always VERY high. I was an 86 on the 20 question depression test on here. I know I've been diagnosed (unofficially mind you) by a counselor I was going to for six months with Major Depression. It's something I've had since I was very little. I just can't remember a time without it. And then... there are days like today where I feel a pressure on me from all sides... and there only seems to be one way out...

I need help.

I have access to the student counseling center, and will set up an appointment, but if last semester was any clue... it won't be easy. I had to wait over a week last time... and... well... that's not very helpful. But I will set up an appointment after class tomorrow.

But back to my main question... one of the only things that truly makes me "better" is being around animals. Now... I've heard suggestions like "volunteer at an animal shelter or a vet or something". Been trying. Nobody needs any help. And I've asked at all the vet's offices and the only animal shelter in the area. Not asking for a job... volunteering my services. And because I live in the dorms... no pets except for fish that fit in a 10 gallon tank. I have a 5 gallon with a betta right now... and honestly? It offers maybe 5 minutes of therapy... and that's it.

So... I've been looking into Emotional Support Animals... possibly even Psychiatric Service Animals. I thought I had control over this... I don't. I am the furthest thing from being in control. But being with an animal somehow allows me to regain control and feel much better. Something about the endorphins or something... I don't know why... just that whenever I'm with my dog (who doesn't live with me, but 45 minutes away with my grandparents, and I am unable to see her more than a couple times a month at the most), I have no urges to SI, no urges to purge or starve... it's like that part of me goes away and I am "normal" again. And that lasts me about a day... and then... *poof* gone.

Another thing I've been looking into that I used to refuse to even try is medication. My last therapist suggested that I might want to try it... and I might have... except that I moved to college and the sessions ended. So... yeah.

Any thoughts on those two particular forms of therapy for major long-term depression? Also... how long would it take to get prescribed something like medication or an ESA/PSD?


Answers


bella
103 days ago
Hi - I'm glad you're making an appt. with your school counselor, but I think you need to see your doctor to get properly diagnosed and to see a therapist. Since you have multiple problems like an ED, SI and possibly depression...this makes your case a little more complex that a school counselor wouldn't be able to treat properly.

Did you take acetominophen (Tylenol) or an anti - inflammatory?? Most people don't know, acetaminophen can cause liver and kidney problems especially with the large does you took. You should never take this many pills. Yes animals are very comforting to most people and when we pet them...our bodies release oxytocin ...commonly called the cuddling hormone. Would a service dog be allowed in the dorms?? The only way to get a true service dog is if the person is on disability and received confirmation this is part of their therapy.

I think you should be honest with your family doctor about the ED and SI problem. ED's can wreck havoc on you mentally and physically. Purging can cause permanent damage to your esophagus, gums and teeth as well as others problems.
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mylifetolive
103 days ago
Equate generic brand Tylenol. Acetominophen. And I know... as much as it sounds as though I am just trying to make an excuse... six hours ago I truly felt as though I had little to no control over my body, but my brain was still in it... that small tiny voice that I kept saying that life was still worth living, not wanting to die, but the whole rest of me disagreed and got up and got the pills and the water. I feel completely different right now. As for family doctor... don't have one. My family is overseas and whenever we needed a doctor we just looked at which ones were covered by our insurance... and went to whatever was closer. So... I don't really have one.

As for all the damages all of these things can cause... I'm very much aware.
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Chemar
103 days ago
Hi

I really think you need to find a way to get back into therapy. The college may have a counseling service?

here is a forum that has info on service dogs, but you would need to be under a doctor or psychologists care to qualify I think

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum83.html
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mylifetolive
103 days ago
yeah, everything I saw said I had to be under a doctor or psychologist's care to get it prescribed. And yes, the college has a counseling service. It's closed now, and when I had posted this and decided that I'm ready to try and get help... (scared out of my mind... but ready), but I get out of class tomorrow at 9 AM... so I'm going to go by and make an appointment.
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candy
102 days ago
Congratulations! You have decided to get help. The only way to get a service dog is to first be diagnosed as having a disablity. You will have to train with a dog so they know what your problems are. I have a Service Dog because I was diagnosed with Complex Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and am now on disability. She saved me from being confind in a house for the rest of my life. Hope you find the answers you are seaching for and the help that you need. Believe me it is not something that can be fixed over night but with the right medication and therapy you will be able to be happy again.
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