I am a 16 year old white male and live in South Africa, I have severe depression. I was born blind but regained some of my vision, I am in a blind and partially sighted school that delivers a very small variety of subjects to choose from which is a problem because I have no idea in what direction my life is headed and what I want to accomplish.
Last year I had my eye on a very talented girl but my so called friend who denied feeling something for her stole her from me, I'm over her but he is the schools "jock" and excels in every thing, I really loved her but he reminds me of what I could have had with her and I hate him for it, I went for another girl this year but she thinks her life is messed up while it seams so perfect.
My father like so many other is a do it right or don't do it at all and he wants so much from me but I can't give it to him. I am a compulsive gamer as it is the only way I can release my stress and relax, but when I screw up in the eyes of my parents the take my power cable and other things in an attempt to punish me, they have complete control over me, and they are literally smothering me.
My sister is a smoker, doesn't have a solid job and dresses like a wore but some how she is the only one that knows my pain, if I try to talk to my parents the turn the whole thing so that it makes me look and feel like the bad guy. I hate the image I see in the mirror and I lost the last bit of confidence I had after a girl dumped me. I just want to ge away from this endless circuit I have fallen into, I want to leave but no military will take me because of my sight, no police force will take me, and no gaming corporation like Ubisoft, EA, Square Enix or any other will take me because of lack of resources.
I really don't
know what to do anymore, I hate this loop I have fallen into, Please help
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