Well my mother has always been nice to me. We used to get along fine, we would always go and do things together and enjoy each others company. That is until recently last year and this year. Last year during my schooling in the middle of January I had an appendicitis which took me out of school for a good 6-7 weeks on recovery. When I went back to school I was failing every class for all of tests and what nots I had missed. My mom blamed me for this, even though she would bring me home my school work and things and I'd do them and she would bring them back. Over the summer things were fine until school started. I had straight A's my first quarter and almost the same 2nd quarter besides one D in pe for I'm out of shape and it's hard for me to find time to excercise with all of my daily schedule. Then second semester came and she got my 2nd quarter grades and grounded me or the D in pe. So she took my laptop( which has all of my school worm in it) and hid it. I had to get it back so I went into her room got it and used it for writing my paper and playing games and talking with some friends late at night only. Well my mom figured out I found it and found my laptop and I think she threw it away or something. Well today she comes home from work and I'm asleep on the couch since their was nothing to do today and I went skating with some friends from 12 to around 3. She comes home doesn't even wake me up, and all I can hear her saying is that she is mumbling under her breath calling me a fat ***, a louzy worthless peice of **** and other such hurtful terms. I shrug them off somewhat ad she usually verbaly abuses me alot. Then during dinner when it was quiet she starts talking to me of why I did it. So I tell her the truth and she gets mad, takes me phone and breaks it stating she's never buying me another one. I, being a real hothead, tell my mom what the hell was that for and were both just yelling. I tell her you're doing this over a stupid computer for gods sake but she doesn't listen to me, like usual. She then precedes to calling me a worthless thief, and other things. She starts to cry blaming me for why she's always sad and why the house is always a wreck( which it wasn't for I cleaned the whole house, except for my room which I never clean). She then goes outside telling me how ae hates her life and how god needs to strike her down on the spot and then she comes up to me saying how if I was never born she wouldn't be living in this horrible apartment and saying how she wishes she would have gotten a abortion. I told her she didn't mean that at all and she didn't mean a thing of it but she just told me to f off. So I said trying to hold back tears," you know, a child expects their parents to die when he or she is older. It may be tough but they were expecting it and when it's time to bury them they don't feel shocked. But imagine burying you're own child, think of how that would make you feel. All children expect someday to bury a parent, but no parent should ever have to bury their child." she then walked outside and called people to tell then how horrible I was. I'm not going to lie, even being a 16 year old male who has seen alot of unimaginable tragedies that my emotions kicked in. I've tried to commit suicide before, I popped a whole bottle of advil and half a bottle of vikeden with some wine. I remeber blacking out and waking up with In a puddle of my own bloody vomit. I didn't get medical attention, just played it off as I was sick and stayed home for 5 days. I feel as now I might try that again, my mom seems to not care about me and my dad always makes me feel bad for I'm not the son he wanted. I need help, I don't know what to do


2890 days ago
It sounds like you both have a temper and say a lot of hurtful things you don't really mean when you're mad. I'm sure that she doesn't really feel that way deep down. If I was in your position, I think I would wait a little bit and then have a talk with her. You can (and should, in my opinion) take responsibility for breaking the rules and using the laptop. You know that was wrong. But you can (and should) say that those things that she said were hurtful and cruel. Let her know that you will keep her rules, calmly, and then walk away knowing you've done the right thing.

The next time you get upset, keep your cool so she can learn FROM YOU. Talk calmly and softly, even if you're upset, or just take a walk and come back after 15 minutes when you've really cooled down.

And please, get those ideas about hurting yourself out of your head. Even at the very worst, you shouldn't hurt yourself because someone ELSE has a problem. You shouldn't suffer for that reason. No one should suffer. It's ugly. With time and experience you'll see that more clearly and you'll learn how either your mother does love you, or that her inability to express her love is her own issue--her own suffering--not yours, and not something you need to take personally. Hang in there.

2889 days ago
Well I've moved into my brothers house since my mother threw a baseball bat at me and threw a knife rack. I really do not understand what is wrong with her. I tried talking it over with her but she said nothing. I moved for when she threw the knife rack at me I feared for my own saftey for the knives were still in it.

2889 days ago
I agree with Edahn and will add a few things. It sounds like you both argue very dramatically. You also think dramatically because you're thinking about suicide. Ideally it best not to make decisions when you're upset. This difficult time will pass and you need to remember this when you start thinking suicide. Nothing is worth taking your life for - you're more important than that!! You both need to learn how to fight fairly and have boundaries. When you don't do that, this is when it reaches the boiling point where terrible things are said. It sounds like your mother is under a lot of pressure and she feels unhappy with your contribution to the family. You and your mom need to have a nice talk, when you're both calm - to figure out what can be done to make you both happier. You need to make sure you're pulling your weight, regarding doing your best in school and helping out around the house. If she works it would be nice to surprise her with helping around the house. Perhaps you both can also reconnect and do some things together so you'll feel closer. I find once children become teenagers there are real attitude changes that are difficult for parents to adjust to. It would be great if you both could agree to take a break next time things get fired up, to avoid hurtful comments. I bet your mother feels bad deep inside and wishes she never said those things. I know this must have hurt but I do't think she meant it. Good luck.

2889 days ago
I really don't like the idea of suicide at all when I'm in my right state of mind. My mom always has been mad at me for she says I waste her money on the medicine the doctor has prescribed me. I suffer

from skitzophrenia and I am as well bi polar. My mom always complains how I waste her money and sometimes when I get really emotional I start to hear what sounds like a deep voice and I black out.

2889 days ago
After reading your first update, I think it's good you moved to your brothers house. I agree it's dangerous to stay there - that's too bad. I hope you can continue to get proper medical care and medication. You didn't mention in your 1st post that you're schizophrenic and bipolar. It's very important that you're on the right medication and visiting your doctor regularly. Good luck.

2888 days ago

it's good you moved in with your brother!

it sounds like maybe your mom is going thru her own emotional/mental turmoil and so I do hope she will go to see a doctor and maybe get on meds herself. To throw things that way suggests she is out of control for other reasons, that may not even be related to you!

please be sure to take your meds and take care of yourself. I am glad your brother has given you somewhere safe to live

2539 days ago
dude i know how you feel im korean and my mom says she wishes i was a better student and i get like always at least As but if i get any grade lower i get yelled at and questioned why i couldn't do any better and she yells at me if i get one question wrong on my hw and tells me to do it all over again, ALL OF IT and my hobby is obviously making gundam models and she says i shouldnt be doing that but i just ignore but i try to chat with her so try to ask your mom why she is doing this (my mom took away my phone laptop, tv , dvd player, etc but just talk with her k?)oh yeah ps(try to sound calm)