Avatar Posted by sspangen 130 days ago (Question)
Okay, so a few days ago I submitted a post thinking that I am depressed. I've now pretty much accepted that I am, because all of the signs say so. SO i set to figuring out what was causing it. And I realized it was my mother. I have never been skinny, but I wouldn't call myself fat; unfortunately, she would.

She is constantly harrassing me about it, she even makes up stories about things she says I promised her, which I never did (ex: I promised her I would start going to the gym, the next day she told me to go for a run with the dog and when I said no she said 'but you promised you would.' and no, she didn't misnderstand or anything)

I have tried hinting to her that I am depressed, I have told her that I have thought of suicide (she laughed it off) and that I hate myself (she told me I was perfect then started talking about my weight again). I have no way to escape this and it is really affecting me. I need to tell her that I am depressed and that she is the cause. Problem is, I have always felt guilty easily, and it's gotten worse lately. How can I do this? Please help me!


Answers

Written by Clyde 130 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Did you do the tests Edahn linked you to?

It would also be a good thing to talk to your school counselor and explain to him/her how you feel.

You still need to tell your Mom and get her to understand you really mean it.

Best,

Clyde

Written by Edahn 129 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you should try and show your mom how she's hurt you. Explain to her, calmly, that she can't say that you're perfect and at the same time, constantly feed you messages that you need to change. Tell her that you self-esteem is broken and that you have been very lonely and sad. Tell her that even if her heart is in the right place, her approach has been harming your self-concept and your happiness, and it's not worth it.

Taking care of your body IS a wise thing to do. You only have one and you should cherish it. When you take care of your body, your self-esteem will improve as well. But you're very smart in seeing that CONSTANT CRITICISM AND DISAPPROVAL will have the opposite effect, making you feel like something is wrong with you.

If you do value your body, then you can let your mom know that (after saying all the stuff in the first paragraph). Tell her what's important to you: loving your body and taking good care of it.

In the end, all you have to do is be honest. If you show her what she's been doing and how it's hurt you, I think she'll listen. Hopefully that will discharge some of you depression symptoms.

Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect and all you can really do is be honest.

Let us know how it goes.


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