Avatar Posted by broken16 133 days ago (Question)
I've had a bad life for quite a while. My exams were coming up so I thought I'd just concentrate on them and work on my life once they were over. It has been 1 month since exams, My life: MISERABLE. I just left high school, and maybe its the change, but I just DON'T KNOW WHATS CAUSING THIS DEPRESSION TO GO WORST AND WORST!!!

Here's what happened in just past 1 month:

1) I broke up with BEST BEST friend on bad terms (Still hurts)
2) I stopped liking 2 most fun activities, reading and drawing COMPLETELY !

3) I CAN NOT STUDY!! I am one of the top graders!

4) My porn addiction has took a severe turn. I now feel soo guilty.

5) My top priority used to be, to get a girl friend. Now, I don't even try.

6) I have uncontrollable anger!! I have become unsocial.

7) I feel so exhausted the whole day. Its like I just can't accomplish things.

ALL THIS IN JUST 1 FRIGGIN MONTH!!
I have tried to recover, but everytime I either fall back, or can't even gather up enough strength to try. I know I can't fix all this quickly, but the least I want is just to feel happy.
You need to understand that this time is VERY important for me and if I don't get a grip on my life, it is going to be very bad for me.
A piece of advice, anything...





Answers

Written by bellacutie 133 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Broken 16,

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. You're smart in knowing what could be causing these feelings. I think making a list like this is a great idea - it's like you're taking inventory of your life. I agree that finishing high school does sometimes make people panic and think - well what's next, I better get moving.

If your symptoms don't improve in a month, then you should consult a doctor. I used to think that porn didn't hurt the viewer and sometimes it doesn't. But we have had many questions on porn causing problems - from women feeling threatened to men having erection problems. Many men don't realize that porn can desensitize them, where they no longer find sex with their partners fulfilling. For you it means you no longer feel the urge to socialize and go find a real life partner - when you can just find easy gratification via porn sites. I think you need to cut it out completely or severely limit your viewing. I honestly think porn sites should have a warning, that it can potentially ruin a man's sexuality.

I also suggest you make sure you're eating healthy and exercising regularly. Exercise is the best thing I can recommend to boost your mood - weight lifting in particular will give you fast results. When your body is strong, your mind will follow. Get out of the house an play some sports and socialize.

Would you be open to making peace with your best friend? I understand how upsetting it can be to lose a friend, so see what you can do to patch it up.

You also need to learn to relax. You sound like you're very frustrated and you want to feel better NOW - it's very hard to solve any problem when you're upset and you want immediate relief. It's okay to feel bad sometimes and you need to be kind and patient with yourself. Learn how to breath taking slow deep breathes. The more you feel frustrated and pressure yourself the worse it will get - so try to relax. If you try these self help ideas for a month and still don't feel better, then go see your doctor. Take care :) Bella

Written by lingling22 133 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree with what bella says. When you keep thinking about the bad things going on it makes it much harder to get over them. I also understand what you're going through. Breaking up with a friend really hurts especially when you're really close to them. Relaxing is a good way to just ease the mind. Do something you like to do that can help get your mind off troubles or stresses. I have had a few times where I was really messed up and I wasn't thinking strait I couldn't concentrate and my grades were falling bad. Some ways for me to ease my mind is to do some sort of heavy physical work. I would go and carry heavy loads from place to place chop wood any sort of heavy hard physical labor. Usually I would find someone who needed help and help them. Being able to help someone had also helped me ease my mind and feel better knowing I was able to do something that helped another person. Other methods I had used I wouldn't recommend unless you are at a point of desperate measures and can handle it. If you put your mind onto something else and settle down your stress will ease and you can be much calmer and begin to come back.

Written by Edahn 132 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

If you look at depression as this mystery that needs to be conquered through some secret, mysterious technique, you're going to make it difficult to overcome because you're saying you don't have the skills to understand and weather through it. The best way to look at it is as a "mental tiredness." I'll explain what I mean.

As I see it, if you look at your life at any given moment, chances are there are a bunch of things that are going wrong, but we don't feel sad and depressed. Depression is the result of FOCUSING on all the bad aspects and losing your energy ("mental tiredness") to see the possible ways it could improve, either on its own or with your guidance.

So the solution is either to make the improvements yourself, encourage yourself, gently, to see how the situation COULD improve on its own or with your guidance, and/or to force yourself to consider the ways that your life doesn't suck. All these will help you shift your focus and recover your mental energy. Sleep is also very important. With that said, here are some suggestions:

Kick the porn habit and make sure you're getting enough sleep. Try and talk to your best friend to mend things if you can. Be responsible about your anger -- you CAN control it if you want to. Then just be patient. Start thinking about LITTLE ways to get yourself back into your groove: maybe some exercise, listening to some music you find meaningful, or just being around people without forcing yourself to socialize. You can make a list of the areas of your life that are actually still positive. You can also spend 5 minutes a day visualizing yourself STARTING to feel focused and connected again. By making small changes, you can make some big strides.

Cheers mate.

Written by Clyde 129 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Exactly. Dont treat depression as the great big rock rolling behind Indiana Jones (and you being Indiana Jones). Treat it as something manageable...break it into pieces.

Say things like, "Today, I am going to shower or shave," instead of, "Today, I am going to shower, shave, have a whole new outlook on life, and expect everything to go grand!"

Try to get some sleep...talk to your best friend, make a gratitude list.

It all takes time, but it all is worth it.

Best,

Clyde


Log in to answer or register here.