Hey.. um.. I'm kind of new to this sort of thing.I'm 18 years old and Seeking help is what I've wanted but I never got the chance to express my feelings since people rant about their lives which doesn't even affect me as I'm suffering in my own grief. I feel lonesome all the time since my girl broke up with me in 2010 March 13th. On that day it hit 8 months since we we're going out and she broke up with me on that very day as well. Ever since then I've been emotionless and hopeless. There's more to it though. That's just only the part of my syndrome I suffer as no one knows how I'm feeling. I know a lot of people suffer in the world. But I feel as if I'm the only one that feels this way. Knowing as everyone is unique. Most people do not think like I do. It's almost difficult for me to even explain or to set an example. I can't put the images into words from what's going on in my head. Right now I'm feeling as if I'm talking to myself. I think something is wrong with me and I can't help the feeling that I'm a disappointment in everyones life. Teachers, friends and even my family. I used to be a fun-loving friend, boyfriend, a brother and a son. I used to laugh a lot. I was the funniest out of my friends. But now I suffer from something that I cannot find a remedy for. This feeling I have in me, feel as if it will never go away. I feel as if a part of me as died. I feel lost, insecure and agitated for some what no reason. 1447 characters so far. I talk to my pillow a lot. I'm not even joking. That's how lonely I feel. Either that or I'm speaking to God. Whose the only one that will Never leave my side unlike others in the past 3 Years of my life. It's changed me a lot. I'm a defined as being "different". Often said by the girls I've met in my life. they consider it me to hold a much more caring and affectionate characteristic than of an usual guy they've met in the past. On almost every occasion I've been told that "You're so different from the other boys". I used to find it weird at first but slowly I got used to it. Anyways... my heart has been broken. So I try and find new things to keep myself occupied. I tried to meet new people. I met this girl. That almost cured the syndrome I'm facing since last Year. She's the only different girl I've ever met in my life. Not the kind where she's down to earth and she's sweet. Not your ever day girl but a quite and mysterious girl. We started speaking on Facebook as she was a mutual friend of mine. She never really talked much. It would be a simple I'd write to her saying. "Hey there ***** You okay? How was your day? :)" She'd reply back saying "Yeah. You? Not really." That's it. She's almost like a robot. But when I met her she was all happy and smiling and she talked to me so much. But then again. Pain as at it's virtue. All of a sudden she hates me. I'm always nice to her and we had this little thing where we searched pictures up on google to speak to each other. It was awesome. Something no one would ever do. It doesn't make sense on here. But It was the most amazing thing I've ever done with a girl. She makes me feel good to be different. She also suffers depression. She shared some private things with me before we met. I just don't get why she's always swearing at me now. When ever I try to speak to her I hint a bit of affection and love. But she get's so mad and swears at me. I was really upset as she spoke and smiled a lot on the day we met. That was the only day we met. She now doesn't speak to me anymore. I wonder why I did. I seemed obsessive as she once quoted. I'm even more upset for being me. Why am I like this. Why is she so angry at me. This adds more grief to what I already have. I want you to know what kind of person I am. My ambitions are owning an apartment in Manhattan, New York, New York as I'm from The United Kingdom of England. I'd love to be a writer, director and a magazine editor as I'm fanatical about writing stories and I've been currently writing a novel. I hope this is enough information for you to help me. Thank you.
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