I met this guy few months ago. He was one of our client from US and he went into our country (in Asia) to visit one of our offices in the country. He was a typical American guy, tall, fair and blonde. I didn't know I would fall for him. It all started with an issue at work and I needed to coordinate with him. We just talked thru IM since he was working to another office building while he's in our country. Then, one day I just realized that we're already talking about anything thru aim, work and personal information. We became friends though we haven't seen each other yet and I looked forward to his message everyday.
Before he flew back to the US, we made sure that we met and talked in person so he dropped by at my office building. Seeing each other was so great! I was so shy, but I really had a great time.
When he got back in the US, he sent me messages daily that he missed me so much. That he really likes me and wish I was there with him. That he was so sad because he missed me so much. I felt the same.
And then I had a personal problem and I had less time to talk to him because I was preoccupied of my problems.
After a few months, he just changed. He's not the same person anymore. He seemed no longer interested in me and we seldom talk. I learned from him after a month that he met a new girl to whom he fell. I was hurt but I tried not to be obvious.
we still talk this days but not as sweet as before. More of casual conversation, 'friendly' conversation. I really like him and I missed the guy I met. He's always on my mind when I wake up, when im working, when im eating, when im about to got to sleep, every minute of the day and it is already affecting my daily life. I cant concentrate at work, I cant sleep well and sometimes cant eat well. I can no longer focus with what Im doing. There are times that I was thinking to get sick and hospitalized to see if he will be concerned with me. I really like him and I missed him so much...I dont know what to do. I don't even have the guts to tell him how I feel.
I don't know if I still have to hold on to him or should I let him go? How?
Before he flew back to the US, we made sure that we met and talked in person so he dropped by at my office building. Seeing each other was so great! I was so shy, but I really had a great time.
When he got back in the US, he sent me messages daily that he missed me so much. That he really likes me and wish I was there with him. That he was so sad because he missed me so much. I felt the same.
And then I had a personal problem and I had less time to talk to him because I was preoccupied of my problems.
After a few months, he just changed. He's not the same person anymore. He seemed no longer interested in me and we seldom talk. I learned from him after a month that he met a new girl to whom he fell. I was hurt but I tried not to be obvious.
we still talk this days but not as sweet as before. More of casual conversation, 'friendly' conversation. I really like him and I missed the guy I met. He's always on my mind when I wake up, when im working, when im eating, when im about to got to sleep, every minute of the day and it is already affecting my daily life. I cant concentrate at work, I cant sleep well and sometimes cant eat well. I can no longer focus with what Im doing. There are times that I was thinking to get sick and hospitalized to see if he will be concerned with me. I really like him and I missed him so much...I dont know what to do. I don't even have the guts to tell him how I feel.
I don't know if I still have to hold on to him or should I let him go? How?
A place to come to ask and answer questions from others on mental health and relationship issues.
Copyright © 1992-2008 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Answers
My guess is that it's not about this guy in particular, but what he represented -- someone you could have fun with, feel excited to see, confide in, and feel excited about getting to know. With this guy you never progressed beyond the very early stages, when everything seems fun and great -- before you get to know each other more deeply and find out whether you're really compatible. At this stage, it was just a dream that you'd end up being really compatible, and it's easy to hold on to that dream without the reality of getting to know him with all his faults. Maybe you would have made a good couple, maybe not. But the reality is that you weren't in the same location and a relationship was too hard to develop in the circumstances. You are saved from the pain of being in separate places and trying to get to know each other with all those obstacles. I think it would help to realize that you're yearning for the possibilities of the relationship, and that you can find these possibilities with other people. I'm also guessing that your everyday life is not bringing you enough joy -- you sound as if you might have some depression. That's the most important problem. If you can find ways to make your everyday life more joyful, you won't be dependent on one person -- who may or may not be reliable -- to make the difference between happiness and unhappiness. There are a lot of men out there who might be right for you, and you should enjoy taking your time and getting to know them. Please let go of the idea of this one man. It sounds as if he has faced your situation realistically -- you are not in a good position to be together -- and moved on. You deserve the same kind of happiness. Move on and let in the new possibilities.
Thanks guys. I'm trying not to talk to him anymore..and I did for a week now. Hope I can stand not talking to him, you know everytime I see his IM ID in my buddy list and he's online, I'm always tempted to send him a message. I want to but I can't delete him because we're using that IM for work :(. Wish me luck.
I agree with Mattie, sometimes relationships just don't continue to "sizzle," sometimes they begin to "fizzle" once you get past a certain part of the relationship. It may of just been a good "fun" relationship for him at the beginning of it, and then he may of got tired of the possibility of it being more?
I dont mean it mean at all, it just makes it hard to have a relationship when you are not in the same area, or location.
Best,
Clyde