Chronic depression 13 years. Now add Fibromyalgia. Attempted suicide 1x. Suicidal a second time. Like knowing I can quit if I want to. It is what keeps me going at times. Normal among the depressed?
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Answers
Yes, sometimes suicide is a way that people feel that they can "deal with things."
Although it definitely does not make it right. Please, tell your therapist about your suicidal idealizations and feelings, so he/she can help you there.
Also, please check out this site:
http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm
Yes, I can relate, have felt that way in the past. But I try to balance that thinking with reasons why I choose not to pursue it, reasons from the profound to the silly. Here's an EXCELLENT essay for anyone to read who feels suicidal. Please enter the web address below.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Ladywolf it is "normal" for disordered thinking, to keep suicide as an option "just in case" life doesn't work out. It isn't the best way to live and I wish for you to be able to put it on the shelf and forget about it.
You are living, and though you aren't happy with your life now, it is possible to become happier and create an enjoyable life. CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) which counters the irrational thinking that depression causes, works well for depression.
What I want you to take as a mantra at those lowest times is, "not now." As you said, you can "always" suicide any time so you don't need to do it now...and when you feel that bad, tell yourself that too, Not now.
take care
drjean