Avatar Posted by klk013 354 days ago (Question)
Since being diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depression AND DID, I've been in thearpy at the VA. How can I overcome the fear and guilty feelings? It seems like my world is getting darker and more confused everyday, suicide is always in the back of my mind. I'm afraid I may do something while during the deepest dispair and won't be able to think clearly.


Answers

Written by drjean 351 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Klk013. There isn't complete data on DID because not everyone who heals is part of a study. Not everyone who lives with DID seeks treatment either.

Since you are in therapy, you have a good opportunity for success in making it so that this disorder doesn't control your life. You will reach various plateaus, and at some point may even decide that you don't need "complete" healing as the textbooks might define.

Yes, with DID, you probably do have some aspect of yourself that carries the "dying option" as I call it. It's that part's responsibility to hold the option so that everyone else knows that if things ever get too bad for you, you can get out of it through death. That it hasn't needed to happen, with all that you have lived through, means it's a dark option that will stay in the background for a while longer. Once you begin healing, it may raise it's head, fearful of what "healing" memories will bring. But as you learn that the past cannot harm you, the need for the dark option will fade.

It's important to know that for trauma victims with PTSD that dissociation is a common component. That you have the extreme dissociative element just means that your system felt the need for that coping response. Depression is also a part of the PTSD (along with the DID.) Not everyone who experiences trauma developes PTSD or DID, as you know.

You are quite intelligent. Keep reminding yourself that you don't need to use the option of death, especially now that you have therapists to help you.

Guilt and fear are normal part of this process. Let your T (therapist) show you how to look at what causes those, and how to dispel them. There are some great books on the subject also. In any sense, tell yourself at those black moments, "Not Now." Then put the thoughts back on the shelf.

Good wishes

drjean

Written by gennoah 351 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I was diagnos with DID about two years ago, but

I was in treatment for major depression about 15 years ago.

At the beginning there where momment of darkness. I thought I was going to die. I found a good phycologist ang a good phycyatrist that are helping me a lot. DID is something that not every professionalist knows how to work with.

Don't despair you are working on your process, it take time.

But have taking the first step. There are a lot of thing I would like share. Let me know if this help you.

"You are really important no one deserve to die for."

take care

Edna

Written by Clyde 349 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree with Jean, please keep the thoughts on the back shelf and realize that you have to continue to keep fighting for yourself.

Best,

Clyde


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